Just had childish temper tantrum - me, not ds

[nickytwotimes]

I am at the end of my tether.
I am very, very unhappy where I live. We are trying to sell, but it seems hopeless adn I feel we are trapped here.
It is awful - a constant reminder of our mistake. I feel physically ill being here.
This morning, after ds went out for a walk with Granny, I was in such a foul mood that a pulled the whols bookcase down. I threw a picture across the room and broke it too. It was either that or hurt myself, but I am mortified. I was alone at least.

Every night Iwake up in a panic becasue I am trapped here. Every morning I cry. I can't off load on dh as he is under a lot of stress atm at work and can't listen to me.

Every day I wrack my brains thinking where could I go. I am really close to just packing up and leaving. I love dh and ds though so I won't.

I don't now how to get through this.

Please go to the doctors and talk to him about how you feel . this level of stress and anxiety isn't good for you, and i know as I was in a very similar place a few years ago.

Can you rent out and rent elsewhere yourself until it sells?

I'm sorry to hear things are so rough right now.

My advice would be to go to a doctor - they may be able to help, either by just listening, by perscriping you some meds, or by refering you to a counceller. As intimidating as any of these options may sound, I've been on this side of them all for many years, and they can help. Just remember you're not alone. x

Thanks for replies.

I am going to docs later this week. I am on ads and am not keen to increase the dose as I managed to cut it right down last year.

The only solution is to move. I have considered renting out, but there is no rental market here - it's worse than selling - so not an option.

I can't go on like this though, because I am getting worse.

MN is my outlet!

I feel a bit better as teh day goes on and we are busy, but often entertaining a toddler doesn't really take up the thinking space, does it?

I am seriously considering asking the ILs if we can stay with them, but might be a nightmare.