Depressed and hurting so much at losing my ability to have a child

[newera]

Hi
I can,t describe how bad it feels but I have been ttc for the last 20 months without any luck and all the time it was down to me having premature ovarian failure the infertility clinic diagnosed me with it in november 08 and still I can,t get over the thought of never having another dc. I currently have one ds of 8 and I know I should take comfort from that as some women don,t even have one but it doesn,t seem that simple for me.
Its breaking my heart to think I can,t have any more dc's and I don,t have age on my side as I have just turned 38, having pof also makes me suseptable to an early menopause as well which basically I have been told could happen any time.
I am also dealing with thyroid issues which are also probably impacting on my fertility.
I feel like rubbish all of the time due to these two conditions as well.
I don,t know how to move on from this and try and get over it I can,t even look at a baby without filling up and I feel so envious if I see a pregnant woman.
I can,t even bear to be around a family member who is 12 weeks pregnant as I dread seeing her expanding bump and everything else that will come along with the pregnancy such as when the baby arrives and seeing everyone cooing over it.
I feel as though all of this has turned me inot a bitter twisted so and so.
what am I going to do I am having trouble enjoying anything else in life and I can,t even enjoy the one dc I do have.

I know it must be really hard and having had a couple of miscarriages, I have an inkling of how it feels to perhaps not have more children. Have you considered using donated eggs? I know it isn't for everyone.

However, I think for the sake of your sanity and your relationship with friends and your own family, that you would benefit from some talking therapy to help you come to terms with this.

I have thought about donor eggs but I don,t think they would fund me as I already have one dc and I simply could never afford it and then there are no guarantees.

I wish i had some better advice. I am 44 and I found out I couldn't have any more children because of ovarian failure and an early menopause a couple of years ago. I have one ds (4.5 yrs old)

The sorrow, hopelessness and also anger were overwhelming. I vried almost constantly for months and couldn't sleep and if I did I woke up in tears about it. I have to be honest and say it is still on my mind a lot.

It has got a bit better and the whole issue doesn't fill up my every waking moment any more/ I am slowly coming to terms with it. I do think the advice to get help/therapy makes sense . I didn't but I am considering it because it is taking me so long to get over the grief at all the lost hopes and possibilities.

Have you talked to anyone about it? As I said before, I think some counselling would be beneficial, or even a short course of ADs if you are finding it's interfering with your life to this extent.