What will happen when I'm not pregnant any more?

[fisil]

I was 26 weeks pg when I was diagnosed with depression and about 34 weeks when the ADs kicked in and I started to feel better.

But next week I might not be pg any more. When I was pg I knew that any thoughts I had about hurting myself were only thoughts cos I have no right to hurt dp's unborn child. But after he's born I could give him a good feed first so that he could be OK until someone came and found me. And dp is such a good parent.

Also, I've been able to blame it all on being pg up until now. But now I'll know that it's not that I can't cope cos I'm pg, but because I'm crap.

I know that everyone gets very tearful and emotional at the end of pg, and has times when they feel like this. But I've just had a night like I used to when I was first diagnosed, and it has reminded me that you can take happy drugs, and have 4 months off work, and then hey, I can cope with life! But when I actually have to enter the real world - which I will have to one day soon - then I just won't cope.

I know people here have been depressed during pg - how did you stop yourself afterwards?

Sorry, Fisil. I can completely understand that. Let us know how it all goes, please. x

Just back from the psych. He seemed to see what I experienced the other night as fairly much in the scheme of things, he understood how scary it was, but saw it as a part of my illness and he felt I was still getting better. He talked to me about how the thoughts are, as things stand, thoughts, and that they are only real when I am having an episode like yesterday morning. He said to try and think positive thoughts - which made me laugh, sure I know that, but at the time it's hard. So he pointed out that I can use other people to distract me into positive thoughts. And I realised that I did do that. I ran through in my mind who would listen at 5:30 a.m. and came up with MN. But I also know I have a lot of other people I can call on, as well as crisisline, Samaritans etc. So I feel confident that it is my illness, not because I am crap, and that I have every right to call on people and get their help.

And I do feel so much better - like it was someone else last night!

fisil sorry I missed your original post but delighted you're feeling a bit better today

Good news!

Well done Fisil. You have done so well to talk it through. Glad they were so positive with you today. I hope you carry on feeling better. xx

Good - because we are here to listen. Most of the ppl on our thread are awake at 5:30am anyway Take care...

Fisil, thinking of you, good you are looking out for yourself. I often think of you when I see the A-Z you gave me!! Life is like that book.. so many sideroads to take which can divert one from being happy. Everybody has different methods for going down their road, but I know for me the more I have worked and dealt with things that make me blocked and sad, the stronger and more directed my life is. I am happy for you that you are facing this and trying not to let it get the better of you. The positive thoughts the psych said about is a great idea... the more you affirm to yourself the less the negative ones are of importance in your life.

Did he give you any ideas for relaxation techniques, meditation to go along with the positive thoughts / visualisation. They can once you feel comfortable with them be really great for calming and strengthing for ones inner self.

All the best, Paps

fisil