I can't cry

[poshsinglemum]

In response to another thread about councelling and crying I have the opposite problem- I just can't cry and I'm not sure that's a good thing. I'm grieving the end of a relationship whereby dd's dad finished the relationship when I fell pregnant. i was distraught, hurt and anguished and atm I'm angry but I just can't cry. I feel numb.

Are you on ADs? I have trouble crying sometimes, exactly as you say I feel numb. When was the breakup? {hugs}

No Ads. I came off my meds when pregnant.They were for something else and I'm glad that I have stayed off them. Just numb. I think it's for self preservation. Broke up about a year ago whilst pregnant but not properly. He told me to wait until the baby was born to see what happened with us. I am in a wierd limbo situation as there is a chance he wants o come back to the UK to see dd. (long story)

I think it is a coping mechanism. When I was pg, mum was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and I found it difficult to express my feelings properly, and I think I cried only once. I felt like you did, numb. She passed away when DD was 6 months, and I have not ever really cried, even now 2 years later. After a period of time I have found the odd time when I cry, but it took a long time. And the numbness was shockingly there. I was a strange feeling, like a loss of arm or something, rather than an emotional feeling. And that in itself upset me a bit as I thought I should be crying.

I spent a while analysing this, well thinking about why it might be, talking to DH about it. DD needed me, I was about to become a new mum, I needed my emotional strength elsewhere, I needed to tap into my positive emotions, like you said self-preservation, for the sake of my new family. That is not to say I did not feel sad or upset or anything negative, but that I found it difficult to express it outwardly.

Probably does not make any sense, but I think it is not unusual to react to grief in such a way.

I can't cry either. I don't have any advice, but I thought you might like to know you are not the only one.

You're not alone, same with me, just numb and zombie-d out, the tears don't flow, wish they would sometimes as crying can be healing and at least you know you're feeling SOMETHING