Constant anxiety and worry about people and horrible things happening. can anyone help??

[Tigerlili74]

Hi, I'm posting this as a kind of follow on to a thread from about 2yrs ago. I was on here searching for the topic because I am terribly worried all the time about DP and DS. Anxiousmama and Olivebranch, if you are still online on here please can you tell me if you are feeling any better in the 2yrs since the last post on your thread??! I really hope so!
Its nice to see that I'm not the only one with such a hideously vivid imagination but at the same time its awful to think that there are so many of us feeling like this. It really is exhausting. My DP's out so I'm having the same kind of worried thoughts as I always do.
I can't even leave my son with my mum without being awfully worried that they'll be run over or crashed into or something.
There was a thing in the news about a driver being jailed for ploughing into some people. Its rare but there's been a few things like that since I've had my DS and it really freaks me out every time he's out without me to the point where i just feel sick.
I think there is a bit of a stigma attached to feeling like this too, i am almost embarrassed to feel like this. I really wish i could be carefree but i have always been like this to a certain extent and my mum was and she got it from her parents.
I would just hate to pass this on to my son, its horrendous to feel like this, you can't enjoy anything!
Anyone still out there feeling like this?? x

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with these kind of thoughts. I'm not able to ffer epathy because I haven't been in the same situation as you, but i wondered whether you had considered looking in to getting some help at all?
Thoughts like these can have a very negative impact and stop us doing all kinds of things we'd like to do. If you feel confident in speaking about it, perhaps you could talk to your doctor who could refer you for cognitive behaviour therapy?
It's just a talking therpay that gives you techiniques to recognise and deal with episodes of anxiety. I had it many years ago for a phobia, it was the key out for me.
You could read about it on the net or see if anyone else has any other advice....
I hope you find a path through soon, as it sounds very exhausting.
((((hug)))).

Laura

Hi Tiger, I second Laura's suggestion. The thoughts you're having are awful enough by themselves. They are also exhausting, limiting and possibly passed along to you DS. Worry is exhausting... really not healthy. I agree that you should take this to your GP and see what he/she can do for you. I also did the cognitive behavioural therapy... it teaches you to think differently, in a more healthy way. Sounds like you're in a corner. Parenting will likely be easier and more enjoyable out of it. CBT or no, why not ask a professional about your thoughts? Take care.

Thank you, I did mention it to GP last wk and was given a questionnaire to find out if i'm depressed, which i don't think i am, i'm just very anxious and worried.
I will mention it again and ask about CBT.
Thanks for your replies! x

Tigerlili i know how you feeling, i started a thread on a few weeks ago about how i was feeling and i have been to the dr, that in its self was terrifying, and have been put on beta blockers, they are not a cure but in one week i was feeling like a different person, please see another dr or push your dr to help you more xx

tiger you are not alone, since the moment my dd was born i had terrible visions of me dropping her down the stairs/having a car accident/housefire etc and i also have these same worries about my dh. The only way i manage is that i know i'm being totally irrational and i have to stop the the chain of thought before it gets so bad that i start to panic. The really mad thing is that i don't worry about things happening to me at all, all the worries i have are about dd or dh.
I really hope you manage to sort this out, i have also been very concerned about mentioning it to my hv or gp because i think they will think i'm depressed which i'm not.
Good luck, i will be interested if you find anything that helps

alicecrail-you sound exactly the same as me, i'm not worried at all about myself! I also know its irrational but things DO happen every day to people and i always think its just a matter of time before it happens to one of mine. Like today i have now dropped DS at my mum's and they are going out in the car so i'm feeling really nervous. I try to tell myself its irrational but i still can't help it. I'm not depressed either, doctor gave me a form to fill in but it doesn't apply as i'm really not depressed. I think there needs to be some differentiation between depressed and anxious and the two are not always linked, in my view anyway.
I'm not glad you feel the same way as me but it is a bit of a relief to know that i'm not a lone madwoman!! Not suggesting you are mad by the way! I wonder what causes these feelings???? xx

Oh, i am totally mad!
My theory is that it's maternal instinct gone into overdrive, i mean all mothers worry about their children, and some fuss a lot, but i find that this is almost a fierce animal kind of feeling (now you will think i'm mad!). On the outside people think i'm laid back, easy going and a bubbly person, but i do think quite often that nobody would want to be near me if they could see into my mind (i know that sounds very dark, but bear with me....)for example, when some idiot cuts me up on the road, i first think, "wanker!" but then i think, "oh my god something could have happened to dd" and round and round my head all day are these pictures of her not breathing with injuries, and it actually makes it hard to breathe. I can't sleep if i cant hear her and dh breathing clearly.
I am also glad to know that i am not the only one, but sometimes i worry that it will drive me mad.

Also, something i have never admitted to anyone, but i wonder if it is linked in some way, when i was pregnant, i was constantly asking myself how i would feel if i lost the baby and i don't think at any time i thought i would be overly upset. But the moment i first held her everything changed. I know its horrible, but it seems i am doing all of the worrying now to make up for it because i do feel so guilty about that, and feel that it makes me negligent in some way.

Hi, just been to the doctor today and he has referred me for that CBT. He says from the questionnaire that i have scored 'mild depression'. I would not have thought i was depressed but he said often you don't know it!
He was quite good actually, some are awful.
Alicecrail-maybe you should have a chat with your doctor about it? I think we have very similar thoughts and fears so maybe you are slightly depressed too? Please don't beat yourself up about feelings u had in pregnancy as you can never imagine what you'll feel for a baby and i don't think you can feel bad about that at all! I never knew how i'd feel about my son til he was born either. I have to go now but will write again. hope you feel a bit better to know you have a fellow madwoman!! xx

I'm glad you found some help, please let me know how you get on. I think i might speak to my health visitor next time i get dd weighed xx