I am getting quite worried about dp.

[wrinklytum]

He has been diagnosed with a chronic health condition for the last 18 mpoths he has had repeat hospital admissions.His last was just aftyer christmas and lasted several weeks.He has been out for 3 weeks and started with breathlessness and pain again yesterday.He has a nother infection and is short of breath on minimal exertion and on nebulisers.

Tonight he has been saying things like "What the F is the point of carrying on?He has been quite low and weepy.I don't know whether I am overreacting but he was talking like this a few weeks ago too.

I have tried to talk to him about it all,and emphasised how much he means to us and the dcs especially."i can't even play with them" he says.

Should I approach the GP (not same as mine?) about this?Or would it be a breach of his confidentiality?Do you feel from what I have said he needs some intervention be it anti-depressants or some form of mental health counselling?

I am struggling myself today.I am not on AD's but the fact of dps illness and this recent stuff,and having a disabled child as well as an nt child who are both quite young I am worrying about all this stuff.

Please offer me some advice.I would be very gratefulx

Hi wrinkly

It does sound as if your dp is depressed. My dh suffers from depression - although his is chronic clinical depression. Your dp sounds as is if is in reaction to his illness.

Are you able to talk to him and say he sounds as if he has depression and suggest he goes to see his GP. You can offer to go with him. I have been before with DH when his depression is so bad he's not sure how rational he is being and the GP listens to both our views.

It is vital he gets some help before he gets too bad - the longer you wait the longer it will take him to get better. The GP may not give him antideepressants (although I would be surprised if they didn't). They may well offer him some counselling too.

I would speak to your GP as well about getting some counselling for yourself. I finally got round to it for me after years of 'coping'. DH was bad again just before christmas and I went to see the GP and said I wasn't coping well this time and Iwas offered some counselling. It took me ages to get rpound to booking the seesions but have my first one in a couple of weeks and feel better for sorting something out for me. I think when you are going through what you have obviously had to cope with and are coping with on a daily basis sometimes you need a place to let go.

I really hope your dp will go and see his GP. Good Luck and take care

Thanks Sundew.

I have tried talking to him.It just upsets him more.I have suggested him going to GP but he isn't willing to discuss this yet.I am feeling a bit stuck at the moment tbh.

Thank you for your reply.

Wrinkly

Could you get him to look at some websites - or print some stuff off the web to show him that his 'low' feelings could well be depression. I think it is really difficult to admite to being depressed - especially for men.

You could try this or this orthis

Do you have any friends who suffer from depression who could talk to him. This may make him feel less 'alone' in his feelings.

Also, the other thing I would normally say would be to do some exercise but it sounds as if your dp is too poorly. Does he have a hobby he could take up again. DH goes to watch the football - and it keeps him on a much more even keel. I think he just needs that 'release' once (or twice) a week.

He is very musical,in fact I have just blown my savings to get our loft converted as a "Music room" for him.Trouble is since his last hospital admission he has been unable to manage to climb up to the loft as this breathlessness stuff is a newer issue

I am not suprise he is feeling down,as I think I would be too after what he has been through.Our little girl was dx at the same time as he got really ill and I think thisa saddens him too.I think it is still quite painful for him to talk about her.If I broach it he changes the subject

Aaargh.It is his birthday today too,poor man.