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Original poster

Counselling on Monday

31 replies

SPARKLER1 · 16/04/2005 08:49

After cancelling my first counselling appointment as I was ill with flu, my new appointment is nearly here. Monday afternoon. I am getting quite nervous now. I have actually had a pretty good feeling week this week so in some ways I feel like a bit of a fraud. It looks like the ADs have finally kicked in. GP increased my dose from 20mg to 40mg and when I first started the increased dose I went away for a mad, lots of alcohol drinking weekend and then came down with flu for 9 days. I never felt the benefits, if any, of them. Have had a more settled couple of weeks and I am feeling much better.
I have no idea what to expect at this counselling session.

OP posts:
blueteddy · 16/04/2005 09:24

Don't worry about it SPARKLER.
When I started to feel a little better I thought I was a fraud for going to my counselling sessions & thought I would run out of things to say, but its amazing how much comes out of you once they start talking to you!
They really try to work out what makes you feel the way you do & you often talk about issues from your child hood.
I was VERY nervous about my first appointment, but they really put you at ease & by the time my sessions came to an end I was really worried about how I would manage without her!

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 16/04/2005 15:51

Thanks BT.

OP posts:
Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 17/04/2005 11:48

One more day to go.

OP posts:
Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 17/04/2005 15:28

The butterflies are really starting to kick in now.

OP posts:
blueteddy · 17/04/2005 17:01

Good luck SPARKLER
You will be absolutly fine. The thought is far scarier than the reality!
Let us know how you get on wont you?

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 17/04/2005 20:52

will do.

OP posts:
blueteddy · 17/04/2005 20:55

Are you still feeling very nervous SPARKLER?
It seems to have come round quite quickly!
I really do think it will do you the world of good.

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 17/04/2005 20:56

I am - it's the unknown. Also I have had a fantastic feeling week this week so I keep thinking I might be wasting their time.

OP posts:
darlingbud · 17/04/2005 20:58

I felt like that too but you really should continue to go. You are not wasting their time honestly.

Surfermum · 17/04/2005 20:58

Good luck Sparkler. Don't be scared.

blueteddy · 17/04/2005 21:01

No,no, no, don't think that!
You are not wasting their time at all.
I was feeling much better before my 1st session (probably because of the tablets) but as soon as I got in there & started talking, it was amazing what was coming out & I felt quite emotional again, after talking about the very causes of my depression.
By week 12 I felt like a fraud though, as I was running out of things to talk about!

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 18/04/2005 09:56

Today's the day. OMG

OP posts:
Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 18/04/2005 10:55

Two hours to go >>

OP posts:
compo · 18/04/2005 10:55

good luck

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 18/04/2005 11:54

1 hour >>. Blimey - didn't realise I had been on here this long.

OP posts:
blueteddy · 18/04/2005 16:04

How did it go SPARKLER?

compo · 18/04/2005 19:48

bump

blueteddy · 18/04/2005 19:52

Are you ok SPARKLER?

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 18/04/2005 21:02

Phew - that was hard. Managed to get through a lot of stuff today even though it was supposed to only be an introduction session. I have been having a really good week this week but when I came out from the counselling session I feel like I've hit rock bottom again. She said that I would probably feel a bit tearful as I have dug up a lot of the past. Have two more sessions booked up and will see how they go.

OP posts:
darlingbud · 18/04/2005 21:03

Glad to hear you went Sparkler1. Keep at it - it will get better I promise. Try not to dwell now - leave it all in the room. Have you any "homework" to do for next time? Anything like CBT?

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 18/04/2005 21:06

She has just told me to write down anything I feel could be of benefit at the next session. So far I have found out that I need to find "myself" again. I'm always too busy worrying about everyone else. She has told me that I have to give myself at least ten minutes in the day where I sit and have a coffee, read a paper/magazine and tell the children that it's mummy's time and they must go and find something to entertain themselves.

OP posts:
Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 18/04/2005 21:07

It was very difficult earlier as dm phoned me to see how I got on. It was difficult to open up and tell her too much as some of the problems go back years ago when parents split up etc. She keeps saying that I can go to her and chat - I know this but feel that I need to talk to someone from outside for now until I get to the roots of my problems. IYKWIM.

OP posts:
Dior · 18/04/2005 21:15

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SPARKLER1 · 18/04/2005 21:32

I know. I just can't believe how exhausted I felt when I came out from that 50 minute session. I'm still extremely tired. Must go to bed soon.

OP posts:
blueteddy · 18/04/2005 21:47

I felt worse after my first session, as you are bringing up loads of things that you have been trying to shove to the back of your mind.
Believe me, it does get easier & will be helpful.
I found counselling more helpful than the tablets personally.