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So I have been referred to the mental health unit at the local hosp - what happens now?

12 replies

JazzHands · 05/03/2009 16:38

Bit the bullet and told GP practice who have apparently referred me to mental health people and told midwife as well.

Does anyone know if they automatically alert SS that a mummy is having a spot of trouble in the sanity department? I'm not dangerous to anyone, absolutely fine and cheeful (more of less) as long as I stay indoors. Or do SS only get told if they think there is cause for concern?

I've never had anything like this before so it's all a bit of an unknown quantity.

I guess I just wait for them to contact me now - the GP said the woman will do a letter on Tues or something but I'm guessing that these services are under a lot of pressure and it can be quite a while before you actually get seen?

TIA

OP posts:
Coldtits · 05/03/2009 16:49

I went quite, quite cockaloop when pregnant with ds2, but SS were not informed, as the person who came to see me had no child welfare concerns.

Someone came to see me, and to talk to me, but unlike you I had no problem leaving the house, and in fact found having "stangers" in the house unaccountably distressing, so I used to go for my councelling at the doctors. You will probably get a visit from a community psychiatric nurse, and they are usually really nice people, understanding and nice.

I was a bit of a worry for them, they sent someone out in 45 minutes and I do suspect they came ready to restrain.

Can I reassure you thatt I actually DIDN'T suffer from post natal depression, and after a good course of fluoxetine which did my baby no harm at all, I was FINE. Ds2 is nearly 3 now.

Rhubarb has experience of being a wee bit bonkers whilst pregnant too, if I see her I'll point her kyboard this way.I do hope you feel better soon. I'm sure you will though.

SausageRoleModel · 05/03/2009 16:56

After my dad died when i was 13 weeks pregnant (sudden death, unexected and accidental) I had a difficult patch and was struggling to cope. My GP also referred me to the perinatal mental health team. I saw a specialist nurse a few times. SS were never contacted, and she was clear to point out that they wouldn't be unless they saw you and were seriously concerned that you were a danger to yourself or child.

JazzHands · 05/03/2009 17:13

Thank you both that's really reassuring.

It is a very very odd thing that has happened to me - in a detached way it is sort of interesting. I am just terrified of leaving the house as I think that everyone wishes me ill and wants to hurt me. The good thing (I hope) is that while emotionally I feel this utterly and am terrified, I can see at the same time that I am being totally irrational.

As it's all new the big thing for me is will I ever get better? At the moment I am getting worse and worse. I guess it may take a while. Although I am sure it is related to being pg, I went a little odd last time but nothing like this.

Did you have any more children coldtits? If so did the same happen?

Sausagerole that sounds terrible with your father, I am sorry.

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CompareTheMeerkat · 05/03/2009 17:18

I had depression that came to a peak when I was about 12 weeks pregnant with DD. I saw the GP who referred me to the mental health team and I was seen two days later (I think I was in a bit of a worse way than I realised).

I took sertraline throughout the rest of the pregnancy and for about 18 months afterwards. DD was and still is fine (nearly 3.5).

At no time was it ever suggested that SS would be involved - I think that would be very very unusual.

JazzHands · 05/03/2009 17:26

That is interesting meerkat - and also to know that some drugs are OK when you're pg.

So far the implication seems to be that this isn't related to pg - when I was in my first trimester I felt very low and looked into antenatal depression a bit and it seems it's not well recognised - the assumption seems to be that this is unrelated to my pg. I'm not at all sure I believe that.

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Rhubarb · 06/03/2009 15:42

When I was pregnant with my first I experienced severe psychological trauma. I knew my feelings towards my unborn baby were not normal, but when I tried explaining it to other mums, their reactions were severe enough to shame me into silence. And so, in the privacy of my home, I punched walls, screamed abuse at dh, screamed abuse at the unborn baby, scratched myself and pummelled my thighs until they were black and blue. It was as if I had undergone a personality change.

It was not always like that, most of the time I worked on auto-pilot. I was able to go on walks with dh and do normal things, but once a month when my period would have been, I would go mental. I shut myself off from my friends and in the end I became convinced that they were all talking about me, that strangers in the street were looking at me, that people knew what was going on in my mind and where judging me.

At around 8 months pregnant I flipped. dh was out and I remember seeing shadows in the house, I thought I saw faces at the back door, I thought demons were trying to get into the house. I opened a bottle of wine and tried necking it to drown out the things I was seeing and hearing, but it didn't. I then became convinced that my baby was causing it all, that it was in fact a demon and I had to get rid of it. I was sorting through the knives, trying to find the sharpest one when a moment of clarity hit me. I picked up the phoned and called NHS Direct, I think it was because their number was stickered onto the phone. I remember telling the person on the other end all about my hayfever and how I couldn't take anything for it - but the wise man that he was, he knew something was seriously wrong and he sent an ambulance for me.

I was psychologically assessed at the hospital and they were very concerned at what I was saying about the baby. I feared I would hurt it. Social Services did get involved, much to dh's disgust. I told them I wanted the baby adopted and I think they would have agreed, if dh had not been so adament that it was not me talking, that the person sat there saying these things was not his wife.

I saw a CPN almost every day, I was closely monitored up until the birth. After the birth I was put on a Progesterone treatment. I don't know if it worked or if I'd had been ok anyway, but after the birth it was as if a cloud lifted off me. I couldn't believe that I actually had a baby, I was in no way prepared for it! Of course I experienced all the fears new mums have, but there was no questioning my love for this little thing. The CPN, midwife and GP all communicated with Social Services and they decided that no intervention was needed.

I went on to have a second baby and this time I was prepared. I suffered depression again but I had a mental health team behind me and managed without a major incident (well, almost).

Pre-natal depression is being spoken about much widely now. They will monitor you during the pregnancy but they certainly won't take your baby from you! You're being open and honest about your feelings which is a good sign. It's those mums who hide their feelings that are the worrying ones.

Best of luck!

JazzHands · 06/03/2009 20:05

Rhubarb thank you for your post, what a terrible time you had. It must have been terrifying.

So much of what you have said has helped me - about SS not getting involved in the end, about treatment and help from the health people. And especially about going on to have another child and it being manageable. I don't know if I will want another but it is good to know that it is do-able and that the support they give you helps.

And that pre-natal depression is real - I am just not me at all at the moment, this is not how I am, and to think it isn't because I am pregnant but just because I have generally gone mad is terrifying.

Thanks again for your post

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TotalChaos · 06/03/2009 20:17

Jazz - I ended up under mental health as well when PG - had a big resurgence of germ phobia/OCD was compulsively handwashing. SS were never involved. Took a fortnight to get the psych appointment through, ended up on Prozac, was about 50% better by the time DS was born, and 80% better by 2 months after the birth.

JazzHands · 06/03/2009 22:04

Totalchaos thank you as well for posting. I think it may be a while before i get seen as I'm not really causing any trouble/danger to anyone. We'll see what happens.

It is so encouraging to hear about your recovery as well, I really hope that I can get on top of this, I would hate so much for my life to be curtailed by something which even I can see is totally irrational...

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Rhubarb · 07/03/2009 10:08

JazzHands, one of the reasons I wanted the baby to be adopted was because I was scared of who I was. I thought that to have such thoughts and feelings about an unborn baby must mean that I am an evil person. I was frightened that if I continued to have those feelings I would hurt the baby.

My husband was a rock. He has had experiences of his own with mental illness, his personality changed too, so he recognised at once what was happening. He knew that person was not me.

He was right. I love dd more than anything in the world. And when I was pregnant the second time, knowing that I had been through it before gave me the strength to carry on. I knew that I was capable of being a good mum, I knew there was light at the end of the tunnel.

This is not an unknown phenomenon - it's very common. Don't be afraid to speak out. There is help for you out there. Best of luck x

JazzHands · 07/03/2009 20:32

I have been feeling a lot better today. I went out to the shops with DH and DD and hardly felt nervous at all.

I can only pray that it means things are looking up but I have thought that before.

Rhubarb your DH sounds fantastic, mine is really brilliant but he doesn't really know what to do, when I go off the deep end he just stands there looking worried the poor sod.

Today I am feeling like things may be OK, I hope it keeps that way....

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Rhubarb · 08/03/2009 14:39

Mark your good days with a pink pen and your bad days with a blue pen. When you are having a bad day it can often seem like you've always felt bad, so it helps to have a visual reminder that actually, you have had good days and will have them again.

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