I can't go on.........................................

[wotdooidoo]

i have always suffered from depression, mainly due to my family and background, i finally got rid of family (disowned) and got rid of druggy boyfriend and felt so much better.

I got married and have got two beautiful children, but have a close bond with one that I don't have with the other , that dh doesn't like.

I am grossly overweight and i have been told that if i don't lose weight i won't make another 4 years, but, if i feel down i can't stop eating.I don't know whether I love my hubby, I sometimes don't know if i love one of my children.

I wake up and just plod along, i make any excuse not to go out of the house and can't be bothered to go out and i'm already on a high dose of anti-depressants.

If this is my existence, I don't know if I want to go on, my life is looking after the home and kids and nothing else becuase dh is soooooooooooooooooooooo unsupportive, when he works the world stops revolving and I have to carry the baggage. He goes out once or twice a month and has to spend the next day in bed, but if I am genuinly ill, because i don't go out, i still have to suffer and he won't let me go upstairs without the kids pestering me.

What am i going to do??????????

So sorry you are feeling like this. My initial reaction is to say that you need to live a bit for yourself, but maybe you feel your children are too young still? Could you not get someone to look after them for even a short time so you can go and do something just for you. It is such a boost to your self esteem to just spend time on yourself.

wot2do, had to reply. Have you been on MN before? We're all very friendly and I'm sure we can help. If you're on high anti-d, what other help are you getting? Sorry, sounds like a "what" list but maybe we can help. "What" help are you getting about your weight and how old are your children? You wouldn't be askng for help and talking here if you didn't care about them, you and maybe your dh. He must have been ok once for you to mary him and have kids. Tell us more and let us help. Love and hugsXXXX {welcome to Mumsnet if you're new)Keep talking, we're here.

gosh, i can understand why you are so low.

have you spoken to your gp re drastic measures for the weight loss? surgery maybe? but are you worried about support post op? if your health was better, as you know, it would open doors to you

do you have any support like homestart? there are others here who know alot about this hopefully one will come along soon

is your bond with one of your children not as good because dh doesnt like him/her? how old are your children?

Message withdrawn

Don't even question going on. You can do this, and you will do it.

Jollymum, yes I am a regualar poster, have been for quite a while now.

Other than the anti-depressants I am getting no other help for either the depression or weight loss.

DH can be ok, but when he is working he is a total pain, very grumpy, v moody and I seem to get it in the neck.