Thanks very much for your replies!
I'm also interested from an existential view point. I think the idea of Holocaust literature is an interesting one - I do take your point there, but then couldn't it be contrasted with people who can no longer go on living after passing through such terrible events? On the other hand, perhaps they are considerably fewer than those who do find space for compassion and meaning within genocidal situations? However, i'm concerned by the reaction of the wider world to genocide - I often feel that people are happier to speak about the Holocaust than genocide which is happening now. Does this suggest that in fact people are not really interested in the sufferings of others? That we can only be interested in the sufferings of others if it is presented as a story of an individual, or revealed to us in concrete form as in the concentration camps themselves? Or perhaps lack of interest is in fact due to feelings of powerlessness - we know we can do nothing, and therefore we don't want to get involved.
I'm also wondering whether there's some kind of 'thing' in the human brain which makes humans want to continue living, and that when this goes wrong, we can't see a reason for human existence? I've been trying to catch myself when I've been feeling 'good' and have been trying to spot what it is that changes about my attitude to life at those times - so far as I can see, I can't actually see any point to life when I'm feeling good, but that is merely an philosophical point, and one which I acknowledge and get on with doing whatever interesting thing I was doing before. I'm thinking, therefore, that I won't see evidence that life is meaningful when I'm feeling better, but that I probably won't care whether it's meaningful or not.
Perhaps I shouldn't say that life is meaningless (as this might lead me into having to prove a negative?), but rather I can see no reason for life to have worth or meaning. (Gosh - this is very much like all these 19th century scientists reading Darwin and slitting their throats in the bath.*) I can see that one might argue that a good life is one in which you help other people, but this seems to be a circular argument - why should helping others be of value unless life is of value in the first place? And why should life be of value?
I can't see any particular reason for anything to have meaning or value to me - although I'm very fond of crocuses! But can crocuses be a motive for living? I don't have children (was supposed to be trying to get pregnant but obviously came to the conclusion now isn't the right time), but I've seen that having children doesn't necessarily make it possible for people to go on living. I also have a lovely husband, parents, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins etc, but I still don't see that the possession of family can be a reason for life.
I suppose I'd like someone to quote a philosopher at me and prove that life has meaning, at which point I could go back to squashing unhelpful thoughts. Probably unlikely to happen. However, I'm enjoying this discussion.
More light-heartedly, this whole uncertainly about the meaning of life is really causing me difficulties about buying some new chairs (which my husband and I agreed on a while ago, and which I'm supposed to order) - as whatever the meaning of life is, I can't believe that chairs are involved. We will have to go without them a while longer.
Thanks!
- which I believe did not actually happen as such...