Am I depressed or just fed up?

[WantAWhinge]

Am I depressed or just down..? Help me decide please, to see if I can do something about it.

I am low, almost constantly anxious, teary quite a bit and can't be bothered with anything including my children . I know this sounds depression like, but on the other hand there just seems to be so many things in my life that Im finding hard that maybe Im just fed up because of it all, IYKWIM. In a nutshell: Im stuck in with 2 under 3, we know hardly anyone locally so spend nearly all our time together. I am bored out of my mind and so lonely I could scream. And believe me, I have tried and tried and tried to make friends locally...just hasn't happened. Eldest is in an uncooperative phase which doesnt help, he won't participate in gym/swimming/whatever classes at the mo so we are invariably having to turn round and come home. Youngest on the other hand is attached to my hip and will not be left, at all, with anyone else...how on earth did I let that happen?? Dh and I are also in shit. We have a celibate relationship now, no sex in 18 months. He has no sex drive, hasn't come on to me in 6 years and it used to be me who kept things ticking over, but I have no inclination to since DC2. So zilch now...and apparently, its purely because Im off sex that things have dried up

And one of my oldest friends (had known her 20 years) died a couple of weeks ago and I cant seem to get my head around it. Still feel so sad. Feels like the end of an era somehow (she was a significant part of my life for years)

Gahhh, just so fed up with it all tbh. And cant see how anything is going to change either. So am I depressed, in which case would ADs help...? Or understandably down, so just hope things improve?

I would say you have good reason to be very fed up, rather than medically depressed IFYSWIM. I was feeling very down after Xmas, non-stop bugs and many of the symptons you describe - anxiety/teariness/can't be bothered. The GP was excellent and told me I had to stop and have a rest. And signed me off work for 10 days. I have felt much better since.

Unfortunately, I guess that is not going to be so easy for you as my dd is at school all day. Is there anyone who can give you a break at all? Can the kids go to a nursery a couple of times a week? Friends/family who can help out?

If you have no time to yourself it is not surprising you are in a bit of a rut. Can dh have the kids for a day so you can go swimming/get your haircut/go to the cinema etc?

Thanks for the reply, no, no chance of a break here Im afraid. DH recently promoted so very busy, no family that can or will help.

Its interesting to know that you think Im down rather than depressed. I actually think one thing then the other depending on how wretched I feel...so no idea really.

I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your old friend. I don't think there's any reason that you should feel you need to get your head round her death in a couple of weeks - especially if you're constantly running around with the children, I expect you never get the time to really grieve before the next hand tugs at you! As to whether you're feeling depressed or sad, I think that it would be very difficult for any of us to tell in a brief discussion forum post like this - but I think it would be astonishing if you weren't sad, lonely, miserable and grumpy, given what you've told us.

Have you spoken honestly to your DH about how you feel? Can you take Saturday or Sunday to relax and recharge your batteries while he looks after the children? Or one of them at least - I know you've said that the little one won't be with anyone else, but can you really carry on as it is? But this may not be possible.

I don't know if this is any help, but when I posted here it made a lot of difference to know that people had read my message and replied, and I wanted to offer you the same.