I feel like I'm teetering on the edge.

[Saltire]

DH goes off tonight for 4 months - thankfully not anywhere dangerous. However, since I got out of hospital on Monday, I have done nothing but cry. I keep having major panic attacks, crying, I keep saying I don't want him to leave me here, which is true, I don't I hate it here, and ma getting really distressed at the thought of bieng here on my own.
I want my mum, and shes about a 7/8 hour drive away.
I still have the pain in my chest, and am crying so much I am almost hypervientilating. I need to calm down but I can't. DH is getting stressed because I am in such a state, and he has a headache now.
The Dses are due home from school any minute, Dh is upstairs finishing off his packing, he leaves at 5pm

The problem is that they're also upset about their dad going away and taking it out on you.

Do you have anyone who can support you?

i know it is easy to write and hard to do (speaking as someone who really yelled at ds2 (9) this morning) but you have to try to stay calm and in control in front of them.... they are bound to be upset / unsettled by dh going away but sensing you are unable to cope will make them v v anxious and their behaviour a 100x worse. i know with mine once i've lost it the day is not going to get any better! could you do the old pretending you are acting... being someone calm and firm.... if you can pull it off for a little they will get better you know. hope today was better for you.

Saltire - I hope you coped better today

Thinking of you

A message of support Saltire. Strength strength strength and calm and peace to you.

08457 90 90 90 is the Samaritans number. They will listen.

Any suggestions for sleeping? I take 20mg of Amitryptiline at night for my Fibromyalgia, and take 2 co-codamol and an Ibuprofen, but I don't know if it's pain that waking me, or just the fact that I'm feeling down and therefore unable to sleep.

DS1 is being particularly trying, and last night I gave into DS2 and let him sleep in my bed because the incessant whinging got me down

Hm... sorry to hear about the sleep being a problem Saltire. I am afraid I don't have any good suggestions. Thinking of you.

Maybe don't look at it as 'giving in' to DS2... maybe he needs closeness when his Dad's away, and you need to not have the fight. That sounds like a positive result, really. Sounds like a good call on your part.

It's about the only good call I'm making. I can't do another 3 1/2 months of this.