not sure if this is right place for this topic, but....

[pinkkoala]

i've posted on other threads, i have a fear of d and v bugs, but this is different.

I had PND when my dd was 9mnths old and was give tablets, but she is now four and i feel as if i am back to square one again.

my dh is working all week from early til late so never sees our dd as she is asleep when he goes out and when he gets in. I have no family support as my family live out of the area, i have given up work 6mnths ago as i wasn't happy with the childcare she had at the time.

Now at weekends he never spends anytime with us, he never spends time with dd and she begs him to play with her or take her in the garden to play football, he always finds a reason to go out on his own, he is currently at his familys house and has told me he will be back for dinner, whoopee do.

i seem to be taking my frustration out on dd, she seem to get told off more, i end up in tears, then so does she. I am not getting a minute to myself, his parents spoilt him as a child and he can't do nothing in the house, not even work the washer. His attitude is he shouldn't have to do anything as he goes out to work, even when i was working i still did everything.

I don't feel i am coping again, is it possible to still get this down four years on from when she was born.

He has also told me he will always put his parents before me and dd, i'm not sure i want to stay with him anymore. He blames me if she is naughty, he can't control her and winds her up, he says i've been main carer and doesn't know what goes on when he is at work, i have no probs with her when its just me and her, i think she is craving his attention.

He sounds like a completely selfish man if you ask me and unless a miracle happens and he changes his ways you will never be happy with the situation basically because he is being completely out of order.

It sounds like it's probably standard depression you have 4 years down the line and all thanks to him. To put his parents before you and dd is very wrong. You and dd should be his top priority. I think you should give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't start thinking of you and dd then you will leave him. You can't go on like this. If it was me I would seriously question his love for me and dc.

You have my sympathy. Perhaps go back to your GP and discuss how you are feeling and the situation at home. Perhaps he/she could get you some counselling.

Anyway, you have to stand up for yourself here as he is clearly failing his role as a husband and father.

Hope you can get this sorted. All the best to you.

He will always put his parents before you and DD?

What a tosser even thinking that let alone saying it to you.

It sounds like he might as well not be there anyway, do you want to continue living with this man?

thanks for the message, i've told him he is selfish, arrogant, lazy, spoilt to name but a few.

i have rang solicitors approx 2 weeks ago to see about divorce, but they told me could be 2k to 10k i haven't got that money, and also he has told me if we split up he will do everything he can to take dd away from me by saying that i was on ADs before and am not fit to be a mum, his parents have already told me that they will contact social services as they think dd is suffering, they never say nothing to him though, he is perfect, not.

i am trying to study as well at mo, he was supposed to be enteraining dd will i got some done at weekends, but he is never here and has told me i will fail anyway, no encouragement from him at all.

my dd wants to be with me constantly as he his always telling her nasty things, like he isn't her dad as he never was naughty or begged for attention.

sometimes i think i wouldn't care if he never came home from work.

he is making my dd very insecure, he tells her she is thick, selfish, lazy to name but a few.

It upsets me so much, but why am i still here.

Why are you still there indeed!!??

Even if not for yours, but for your dd's sake, LEAVE HIM. He sounds a right bastard and your in-laws don't sound much better either, threatening to call SS.

Don't be intimidated by his threats. Just because someone's been on AD's doesn't give him much of a leg to stand on in a court of law, you couldd argue your case, which stands a lot better chance if he ever did try to get custody of your dd.

He is affecting the emotional well being of your DD. This may have lifetime effects on her if you dont do something.

kick him out.

do it today.

oh and no-one is going to take DD away from you because you've been on AD's in the past.

its just a bluff anyway... he doesnt sound liek the sort of person who would want to have his daughter anyway.