Anybody else find PND means they can't cope with housework?

[SummerChicken]

It's getting out of control, it really is. I'm suffering from PND and fatigue made worse by the fact that I can't sort out my 11 month old baby's sleep problem and some nights she wakes me every hour. I have a 2.5 year old as well who is very demanding and between them I cannot get housework done in the day, and my toddler scatters/hides things all over the place. When they are finally asleep I cannot muster the energy to do more than cook the evening meal and do the bare minimum in the kitchen. The baby wakes after half an hour anyway and will only nurse back to sleep. I'm drowning in mess and it's a vicious circle. DP is a sweetie but he is also battling depression and fatigue and he'll wash up a few pots and empty the bin then think he's done half the housework.

Is there anyone else who has this problem? I feel so ashamed.

I couldnt muster the energy to even clean my own teeth in the mornings some days. Never mind do any houshold stuff.

So sympathies hun.

You have your hands full, you come at the very bottom of the pile dont you.

I dont think that you should be ashamed, this is a fact, you have got such allot to be dealing with and you are not super human.

Dont know what to suggest becasue it will come across as bieng smug and also i know, no matter what people say, you will still feel this way and its too easy for me to sit here and suggest ways around it. If you dont have the energy then you just cant do it.

Do you have any other help apart from dp?
Any family or friends?

please consider home start they are fantastic i had a lady come in and look after ds while i got on with the housework -it really upset me that i couldnt get on with the cleaning when my ds needed me so much.
i also found a play pen valuable
there is help you just have to ask for it xxxx

Um. I've just written a long reply to you both and it seems to have disappeared - anyway my time on computer is up now so I'll wait and see if my other message is going to appear - if not a big thanks to both of you for your kind responses and more later

I used to feel just like you and the only thing that helped was to get out of the house (which did reduce mess somewhat). Part of problem was that I was too ashamed to invite people over and then missed the company. Is there a regular toddlers group you could go to and have a cup of coffee and get away from mess and yet have somewhere for toddler to run amok?
Could you give very simple meals, boiled eggs, cut up apples, cubes of cheese, for kids, bowl of thick (bought) soup for you and dh with bread some nights. Found my desire to cook wholesome meals increased tensions of washing up etc.
People used to suggest menuplanning, but that only made me feel worse and more disorganised and hopeless.
Housework - set yourself very low standards at first. Bins, worktops and clear kitchen table. Push all toys to corner of room don't even sort. Leave washingup soaking if the baby/toddler are asleep and you can sleep
Laundry - try not to worry about kids looking ironed and smart could they wear some of the same clothes two days running even if a bit grubby? Lots of all in one bibs at mealtimes?

P.S. If there is one thing toddlers love it is washingup, if you put lots of old towels on floor round sink and a big apron on him or a swimsuit even. Even if seems to make more mess at the time, afterwards he might be less demanding and potter around a bit with his toys whilst you do other householdy things.

Just popping in to say hang in there - it will get better. My DD 4 (I have 6 kids LOL) was a TERRIBLE sleeper. We co-slept and she used to wake me up every hour till she was about 15 months. I was EXHAUSTED - the house was a total tip - it did really get me down at time but I just kept telling mnyself it would pass and one day I would get on top of the house stuff. I really only did the basics. Simple healthy food for DC, minimum amount of washing - hardly any ironing (crumpled clothes never harmed any one LOL) , basics of house work like bathrooms and kitchen surfaces.
2 years (and another baby!) later I am just about getting on top of things again. Breaking things down into small chunks helps me. I prioritise what i need to do the most then try to achieve just that and make myself ignore everything else so I dont feel overwhelmed.
I would say though be kind to yourself. a baby and toddler is hard work, especially a non sleeping baby. You will have lots of time to get the house back on track, just look after yourself and your DC for now.