...I just had some while I was thinking about anxiety and depression and irritability.
I was thinking about how you feel when you are on holiday and you have a special time with your DH and DCs. When you are on holiday you have certain AIMS which you focus on and I'm thinking - what if we focussed on the same aims when we are NOT on holiday as well!:
- To find ways to have fun and do things which will make you and your family feel happy
- To enjoy seeing them having a good time and to try to make it a good time for them.
- To be loving with each other and get along.
- To enjoy your time with them and enjoy being with them and to notice the things that you like about them.
- To make it as loving and romantic as you can with your DH
- To minimize disputes/bad behaviour/little things that go wrong, because you don't want to be miserable when you are on holiday, you want to quickly get back to having a fun time together, so you don't dwell on little stuff and you distract everyone from little negative things by starting on the next fun thing.
I suppose this is a variation on "live each day as though it was your last". I've read that people who have been told they are terminally ill go on to have the best times of their life in the time they have got left because they have realised how precious time is and they focus on making the most of it and doing things that make them feel happy. In reality we ALL have a finite time left, even though it is of different lengths for different people but we just don't know how long we have got whereas some people have been given an estimate of how long they have got by doctors.
Maybe we shouldn't waste time feeling moody by going on and on at our kids and DHs for every little thing and trying to get them to behave perfectly and keep the house perfectly clean and tidy etc. Maybe we should avoid saying negative things like No and Stop and Don't do that unless it is really necessary because it only makes everyone moody and doesn't support the aims that you would have if you were on holiday (to have a fun time together etc).
Most people would agree that the most important part of being a wife and mother is to make your DH and DCs feel loved. It is easier to feel love for them and to make them feel loved if you are having a fun and happy time with them so maybe the key to a happy family life is simply to focus on making an EFFORT to have a fun and happy time with your family by doing fun and enjoyable things and not wasting time dwelling on negative things.
I wonder if these thoughts will last for me or if I am just feeling 'up' right now and will go back 'down' at some point. I feel like writing down the positive thoughts when I AM 'up' though and reading them when I'm 'down' to see if it will help.
Anybody else got any?