Strategies when you have no will power or seem intent on messing things up

[NAB09]

I went shopping today and couldn't find anywhere that sold will power.

I have talked with DH and he knows I am trying really hard to get well and be a better wife and mum. He also knows that I have been an idiot and had a couple of emails with my long ago ex this month. I have made it clear to said ex that it is finished.

If I struggle next week with my depression I know I will want to email him (God knows why when he can make me feel worse just as easy as happy) so need things to do so I don't. I don't want DH to cut off my computer use as I am addicted will miss MN and emailing my old school friends, but I am rubbish sometimes at doing the right thing.

And I know how pathetic this makes me sound but if it fixes everything it will be worth it.

I can't say I understand completely, but can remember the feeling of HAVING to text or call an ex even though it was completely wrong to do so (not the same situation as yours but I remember not being able to stop myself).

Practicel suggestions (although I think blocking computer use could be a good thing)

• set up a rule in your email so anytime you mail ex, a copy goes to your DH. You could do this in Outlook, not sure about other mail apps.

• have a personal rule that when you are tempted to mail him, you'll write it and save it as a draft for an hour before actually sending it. Make a cup of tea and really think about what you are doing . Phone your DH and have a chat about the weather, anything to think about your family and not the ex.

• post on MN when you are thinking about mailing. I know you've had some tough reactions here about your inability to leave ex alone, but it could help you face up to things, and distract you if you get engrossed in a good MN thread!

I think the DH thing might work.