My friend's DH was diagnosed with an incurable cancer 2 months ago. Coincidentally, it is the same cancer that my mother also has - only she is 5 years further down the line than he is. This makes it hard for me to support her because my mother is now dying of it and I can't share how horrible that is with her.
My friend is a very anxious person, terribly prone to stress and has ulcerative colitus (the most serious form of IBS) as well as another serious lung condition - both these physical diseases mean she has to CONSTANTLY monitor her own health and treat it the instant anything starts to go wrong. Now her DH has this cancer that you have to monitor in the same way - he is in denial about how serious it is and because perhaps because she has always over reacted with any little illness, he goes to the other extreme and does not take care of himself in the way that she wants.
If this were not bad enough, her oldest boy (7) is acting up dreadfully at school - bullying, violence, threatening behaviour etc. He is a lovely boy and I have known him since he was a baby, but he is going seriously off the rails. I don't think the school knows what to do with him. His behaviour has always been difficult but it has of course got very much worse over the last couple of months. She seems unable to cope with him and I am growing seriously worried. His father's illness will never go away - until he dies - and I don't see how things are going to change for the better in the way their family functions.
I can see all this happening and we are all trying to help with practical things but my feeling is they need professional support as a family. What organisations are there that could help and how do you get referred? My friend has been to the GP about support for herself but it is a family cancer support group miles away and I know she does not have the time or energy to go. She puts herself last in everything and because she is barely coping, her children are falling apart around her.