Help me hold it together, please

[LucyEllensmummy]

ARrrghhh - some of you will know my history, and i have been doing really well, but i can feel myself slipping and im scared shitless.

The financial wolves are at the door again, no surprise there - we will manage (AGAIN)- but i feel like a headless chicken, and i can feel a panic attack looming. Worse than that i can see myself stressing at DP which is the LAST thing he needs right now.

We are making headway with our business - it COULD make it, but today, tons of shit fell through the letter box, partly his fault as he hasn't been opening letters, my fault for ignoring. Anyway, lots of final demands and court summons - fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Don't bash me with have you got a job yet - DP and i decided my time would be better spent building the business up - im involved and its keeping me busy. We want it to be something that i can do full time when DD goes to school in september. So I stopped looking for work. Now i thik ive made a mistake - but what can i do anyway - i have no childcare. Nursery two hours a day.

I can just feel myself going down that horrible self pity road, the house is shit again - stuff everywhere and today i feel like i can't cope. I don't want to feel like this - i can't help DP if i feel like this.

HELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP

anyone ? No-one? Oh well

First of all, give yourself a break - it's no wonder you feel stressed if there are these letters coming through your door.

What have you done/said to yourself in the past that helped you cope?

Take one thing at a time. Never mind about the house if you mainly need to think about the business. What is your priority and what steps do you need to take to sort it, and to help things run more smoothly in the future?

You don't need to answer my questions if you don't want to btw, they were rhetorical!

thanks raspberry - im sort of in limbo - as what needs to happen is for DP to finish the job he is on to bring the money in, and its running behind - he tends to hide the true amount of debt, because he knows i can't cope. There are a few things i could do to help the business, but they don't bring the pennies in - DP needs to pull his finger out, but no point in telling him, will just stress him out.

I do feel bad because if i were working we'd have more cash, but i just feel overwhelmed just now. Its like i have so many things that need my attention and i don't know where to start - so i do nothing.

I haven't posted before but have read some of your posts.

Try and think what you would say to me if i was the OP.

OK, so you can't help directly with the work at the moment. What would make you feel more in control? a tidy house? then tackle that. One room.
The kitchen. Go in there and don't come out until you are (moderately) happy with it. Then come back on here and shout YEY the kitchen is sorted
then your bedroom, or whatever.

Does that help?

It's so, so easy to get overwhelmed by stuff. I'm a great one for burying my head in the sand myself.

You obviously can't go and do dp's job for him, but you need to find a way to feel a bit more in control yourself. And you are in control. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, can you think of one thing that needs done and how you can do it, step by step. Ignore everything else for the minute. It might make you feel a bit more in control if you can break stuff down.

I know it's much easier said than done. Hope you can get things sorted out.

X post just keep swimming, same advice!

Um, yay, the kitchen is finished - well actually i was doing the kitchen when you posted so i went and tidied DDs room - fell asleep whilst playing "my little pony" and she trashed it !!! lol

Just spoken to DP, he seems upbeat - i just need to keep strong

That's great, you are sounding more positive and DP too