DH on new medication and Im not coping with it very well ...

[Disenchanted3]

I was going to namechange but can't be bothered.

DH has been depressed for a while, he has been signed off work (but no longer employed by the people he worked for when he first got signed off, so no job to go back to) and been taking meds for his depression. The dosage just keeps going up

He sees about 4 different doctors, GPS, psychotherapists, psychiatists and god knows who else.

Problem is he has been given a new tablet for at night times. But he doesn't go to bed till 3 / 4am, he just cannot sleep before then.

He has been told to only take this tablet 30 mins before he goes to bed, but it knocks him out.

So it is taking me literally an HOUR to get him out of bed in the mornings. Its not good when you have 3 baies age 4,3 and 5 weeks.

I end up loosinjg my temper everymorning and it just sets the day off badly.

Im starting to resent him I don't want to deal with this.

I don't understand why hes depressed, he didn't have a bad childhood, no bad events happened to him, he lives a fairly happy life now!

I just don't know!

Please don't say I shouldbe more supportive because I have been for 2 years, its just this new pill has just been the last straw.
Im not leaving him in bed all day because of it,

thats not going to help him.

Hes been waiting to see another specialistdoctor since SEPTEMBER!! but all 4 appointments have been cancelled by them!

He has one in march, but i dont see what good they can do really.

Im fed up, i feel like Im getting depressed myself now.

Surely going to bed earlier and taking the tablet will knock him out anyway? I think he just has to do it tbh. Bed by midnight so take tab at 11.30. He may need to stick at this for a few weeks to settle to it.

I would agree with Buda - In fact with a normal bedtime should be about 10.30 ish - so take the tablet at 10 and then sleep from 10.30.

It might make your life easier.

I can not help with the appointments, but depression comes on for a varierty of reasons, you do not have to have had a bad childhood.

He can't go to bed though. I know it sounds daft but even with the tablet he just doesn't fall asleep its only when it gets past 2.30 he starts to get tired.

The tablet isn't actually to make him sleep its for a few other things he has problems with, the 'drowsyness' is a side effect.

He says it doesn't actually make him tired, just makes his eyelids heavy iykwim.

We had an awful row this morning. I said some horrible things

I know you don't have to have had a bad childhood, but I really don'y understand why he is like this, I can only think he is unhappy with me and his life

He says this isn't true and I know he does love me but maybe he wishes he chose a differnt path to us?

today has been bad, arguing alot.

His stupid mate is coming round to watch a fight so im confined to upstairs too

Sounds very familiar to me. DP spent best part of 2 yrs in bed too depressed to move. Better health wise now but still bloody lazy and generally doesn't get up in the mornings ever. With regular starts of 5am this is a cause of deep resentment. It really isn't you. Mental health problems are so so awful. My Dps illness showed me a very negative side of myself I wish I had never had to confront. Turned into bitch from hell but I was under incredible stress all day everyday with a newborn waking 2hrly and an older dc waking at 5. We had many many viscious fights which was really shocking after being together for 15+ yrs. Our services were absolutely crap, arrogant ass of a consultant refusing to listen, months of trauma could have been avoided if they had listened to me about the meds not working. I found I just had to focus on the kids, leave him to it most of the time until he started getting better and wanting to participate again. It is not nice and I thought of leaving many times but decided to stay. Search for the happy moments with your kids, find support from others where you can. Good luck