it IS possible to get over sickness phobia

[michele61]

I have really hopeful news for emetophobes. I have had this all my life (I'm 47) and last week I got that bug. There almost wasn't time to get into a state, it just happened and I experienced what I think normal people do after an episode- a feeling of relief. It was a revelation. Yes, it was very unpleasant, and it did go on, but after the third time I was used to it. The joy I felt at not being terrified was so much greater than the nasty feeling. If you just keep telling yourself the actual event only lasts a couple of seconds. Yes, it may go on, but you know it will end eventually and how lovely that will be, that first sip of ginger ale. I wish I could magic this away for the rest of you, but I promise you I had this really, really bad ( the phobia) and I really do think I have some perspective now. I really think if I can crack this, and I was hardcore, so can you!

THanks for posting that. My DD(8) has a sickness phobia and I'm always looking out for ways of explaining/reassuring things to her.

I,m glad ive come across this post. My dd is 5 and she is terrified of herself or someone else being sick,to the extent that if my ds 2.5 gets a really bad cough she wont even stay in the same room as him incase he is sick. When i took her to the doctors he said its probably just a phase but shes still like it a year later. Have you any advice for me on dealing with it as a sufferer yourself?

It's tricky, and my daughter (14) has it too. Is it nature or nurture? In our case, probably both. I think a good thing to say to young children is to say, you are right, it is really horrible , but mum is here to help, you'll feel a bit better once it happens, and it's your tummy's way of saying it needs to get rid of something bad. The fear may be too big for these things to be much help, but lots of cuddles and gentle talk before or during the event can help. Don't make a big fuss if he or she is sick. Just say, "What can mummy do to help?" Do, do try to be patient. My own daughter has all sorts of avoidance behaviour and it is quite engrained. Let me know how you get on. Best to talk about it before the panic kicks in, during a calm, quiet time. Good luck, met me know how it goes.

Thanks for that advice. I find her not too bad when she is being sick as she knows theres not much she can do about it, I dont know what to do about her fear of other people being sick, should i make her come in the room when her brothers coughing and shes worried hes going to be sick(sort of facing her fear) or do i let her be on her one away from him when hes like it.

Shes already told me shes not having any babies as they will make her sick, she remembers my morning sickness and she was only 2.5 then.

Hopefully as she gets older she will get better.

Hi Buggy, I think the key here is to do things in very small steps. One possibility is that she is very young and it might be a phase BUT in case it is not, it would be great to nip it in the bud. Never force her to do anything that causes great distress, but she is old enought to ask "What is the scariest thing you can imagine" and then ask why it is scary, and always say, yes, it's not nice, but it is not dangerous. If son is coughing and she runs out of room, ask her why she has left the room. If she says, cos he might be sick, then say, yes, some young children are if they cough too hard, not not very often. If he is sick, you can leave the room if it makes you upset, but why not try, next time, to stay in the room. I bet nothing will happen and if it does, you can leave and get me.

Hello Michele, it is nice to read your OP. I am an emetophobe and have been pretty much all my life (now 44). I am interested in what you say as I have often secretly felt the only cure for it is to actually experience vomiting and discover that you don't actually die as a result (which, crazy as it may seem, is at the root of my phobia).

Are you saying you were sick the other day for the first time in years and that your fear had previously been based on the unknown?

I have this too and it is much more other people being sick than me. I have been like this since I was 12 and had avoidance behaviour leading to me practically being a hermit at one time. The only way I can describe it is that it is the worst thing in the world and I have a huge impulse to run away.

I would advise trying to limit the avoidance behaviour - because it is so unpredictable, with an active imagination you can want to avoid everything. That is miserable and the more places you can go where it doesn't happen, the better because it should help to convince her that there is no need to avoid it. Being on the look out constantly is exhausting though.

I have found though, that when I do come across it, it knocks my confidence for dealing with things I have been able to deal with before. For example, I can usually wait in a doctor's waiting room, although I find it quite stressful. After being confronted with my son being sick (nowhere near a doctor's surgery and with no intention of going there), I now don't think I could bring myself to go into a waiting room even though that situation is quite unconnected with my experience. I will again in time but it takes a while to work my way up again.

So, I suppose if there is a realistic chance that your son may be sick, it may be unhelpful to encourage her to face it. If it is really unlikely then it would be a good idea. If only there was a certain way of knowing, life would be so much less exhausting!

Michele - thanks for posting this story. I have been phobic for as long as I can remember, and can see my DS (6) developing all sorts of avoidance strategies too, which is distressing - not least as I know how miserable and disabling it can be once it gets hold of you.

I'm worse about other people v-ing than I am about myself v-ing - though I have dealt with it when the DCs have v-d and only I have been there (I just live with the flashbacks for years afterwards!!)

I'm on the waiting list for CBT. I don't know if it will work, but I am at the stage where I feel I have to try, even if only to help DS as well...

Thanks, Michele, for giving me some hope!

I think it is really worth trying CBT. They have various strategies, some work better than others, it is very individual. The main thrust of it is constantly saying to yourself "What is the worst that can happen?" and for you it is... and then challenge that thought by asking another question to pinpoint your fear, is it the sense of loss of control, the sound, the vision, what? And then you must constantly erase negative self taught NOT with positive if that is not how you feel, but with REALISTIC, try to put yourself in the mind of someone who does find it unpleasant but is not afraid. Grill that person, ask them what it is they think and feel when exposed, and just try saying those things to yourself. It might seem like BS, like you are sort of spin doctoring yourself, but if you think about it, you have convinced yourself to be afraid of something that is not really dangerous, so you have to unlearn that , and learn, and learn again, a more realistic approach. I KNOW it is easier said than done, but it does kick eventually. Good luck, I know you can beat it.

Michele - thank you for the encouragement and reassurance. I am definitely at the stage where I feel able to try to give it a go, which is something of an improvement!

I just wanted to add that yes you can get over it and deal with it in a more normal way.

I used to have a real phobia, you know where you get off a bus in the middle of nowhere because someone coughs the wrong way.

I have two kids age 12 and 9yrs and they broke me in slowly with little baby milk burps up to the full thing now they are bigger.

When no one else is there and you have to deal with it you can, I just got practical, like when in the car I would have a kit with wipes, antibabc spray, bags and kitchen roll etc, so I knew if the worst happened I had stuff to deal with it, the same at home. Stuff like dispoable bed mats and plastic gloves etc.

I still don't like it, but hey who does, but I know I can cope with most things and I can deal with the kids .

Thanks, Skramble. I do know I can deal with it, as I have been tested by the children . It's the thinking about it that's worse in a way - and that's what I'd like to get over if I can!

Thanks for you words of encouragemnent michele. I almost feel as if i could cope just from reading your post!

I'm still very much at the stage of 'getting off the bus in the middle of nowhere coz somebody coughs' as skramble says.

I, like Dot, am asking for help so hopefully i will get some and make some progress..fingers crossed.

Hi to everyone xx

As well as being able to deal with it, it is just not a big issue for me anymore. I don't really think about it all that much.

I would say it was a phobia for me but not anymore, I think I now just have a pretty normal dislike for being around it or being ill myself. I still wouldn't like to be stuck on a bus but I wouldn't have to get off in the middle of nowhere now .

That's great skramble that you have made such progress. I think about it every day for most of the day!

I wish i could live a normal life. x

Wiggle - me too.

Skramble - was it just the gradual exposure via the DCs that helped you to get over it? I could deal with the DCs regurgitating milk when they were babies (and DS was the most copious regurgitator thanks to reflux) - but somewhere along the line, milky stuff became real v, and I lost it again!

I suppose it was just the gradual progression with the children and the lack of an alternative, I am the mum so I have to clear it up, no option. So I suppose after a while it just became less of an issue.

I'm like you Dot, could cope with milky burps, but now can't cope with 'adult' v. And I fear myself doing it too. Think about it every day. It does wax and wane and sometimes I'm in the 'get off the bus' phase and other times I'm not so bad. Felt very very ill last week (PMS) and got the point where I thought 'perhaps I should just do it' and then the panic came back . . I did feel just for a few seconds that it wouldn't be the end of the world, but then my mind said don't think like that or you will v, so I struggled and controlled it - crazy eh ? I know if I'd just done it it would all have been over in a few seconds, I'd have felt better and I could have gone to sleep, instead I struggled for hours tryiing to control it feeling terrible. But I will beat this phobia - I really don't want it to control my life anymore.

ive never heard of this condition before but im sure ive got it. Im so scared of been sick and hate the the thought of someone been sick and the sound it makes.

Ive only ever been sick twice before once when i was 5 and i was travelling to see my nan in hospital, she died a few days later and i think thats where my fear comes from. The other time was when i was about 19 and i was sick about 10 times in the space of 5 minutes, i was so scared having no control over my body and was shaking all over.

Im glad theres other people in the sme situation i thought it was just me!!

Hi chuckieegg, do you find the fear of being sick stops you doing normal everyday things like shopping,eating out etc? You are amongst good friends here, i find it most helpful just to know that i am not the only one feeling like this.