Posted last night, feeling very sad. Two posts and they're not there. I need some help, I'm not sure if Relate can help or if I want them to help. I involved the kids last night and feel so guilty, ie: when me and daddy divorce, who do you want to live with It was a two two split, which is what I had predicted. We've been arguing on holiday and I told my little girl that she doesn't love me only Daddy, 'cos she s a daddy's girl and that I had read her norte about us being divorced and that she wanted to live with daddy. I told her she'd broken my heart and feel sooo bad this morning. Where do I go, I've seen a nurse at the docs and physicvally I'm fine, she says. Bloods etc ok, blood pressure ok, but do you know, I don't think I've ever been really happy. Something always comes and spoils whatever I have. My ex told me once, whilst arguing, that he could give me the moon and it wouldn't help. I think I've forgotton how to have fun, honestly, when the kids are playing, I'm the one holding their coats and watching out for them. I'm really jumpy as well, and my oldest says I care too much My temper is appalling, I drink too much and I'm scared that I might myself or accidently let fly at the kids. My dh has a temper too, drink induced and it's like he's a different person. I wrote him a five page letter last year, saying things had to change otherwise we would split up. I've just re-read it and nothing has. There is so much anger in this house and I'm so sad.