In a real muddle and i cannot see any escape from it.

[HandbagCrumb]

I am always sad.
Even if i don't look or appear sad then i am inside.
I hardly ever laugh infact i can't remember when i last had a proper laugh.
I have no social life.
Problems with dp the same as ever ,no spark on my part and we dont do anything as a couple anyway or even share a bed(he sleeps on sofa bed)because he snores.Also my problem regarding my appearance comes into this also.
very low self esteem to the point where i feel like the elephant man most of the time and there is nothing i can do to change my physical appearance.And my dc have inherited this and i cannot cope with the attention it creates from people(the same fuckin people who have nothing else to say to me)
I cannot bear the thought of my dc 2 going to school because the comments will get worse.I cannot send her no way and will remove both dc from school if i have to.
Anger management problems.
Anxiety which is awful.
zero libido.
Long history of depression/anxiety and tablets dont work and i will not take any anyway.CBT i had 6 sessions and it was useless to me.
I am too emarrassed so have namechanged but someof you may guess anyway.
The depression/anxiety gets very very bad each month and i think i may have a hormone problem.It is almost uncopable tbh.I have told my Gp and she just put me on Dianette (periods all over the place and acne also)
I hardly have any friends and it is impossible to make any i can connect with or that even want me as a friend.

I am sorry i have written it down like this i didn't know how else to get it out.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so crap. Have you tried a different GP?
Whereabouts are you? If you're anywhere near North Devon maybe we could go for a coffee or something? Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks Siruis for replying.I wish i was in North Devon
I don't like seeing other GP's because i dont trust them.My GP is nice but only works 1 day a week but she knows my history.

You must immediately change GP or even call NHS direct as a first stop - you are giving yourself such a hard time and don't deserve it. You are a parent and that's the hardest thing in the world and a very easy place to lose self esteem. Please call someone, even Samaritans to get some human contact. You are a good person, and you care about your children. You can find a way out.

I am very good at hiding it from people.People would never suspect i have problems.
I cannot talk to a stranger and would be too embarrassed anyway.

Does talking on here make you feel better? I don't have many friends where I live and sometimes feel the only place I can talk to people honestly is on MN. I can be myself on here. How about you?

HBC can you give someone your email address and you can chat with them??? Then maybe make a friendship and get out a bit?? Where are you??

I do love mumsnet but have been hiding behind other names and lurking recently because people know me by my usual name.I do however at times feel that i am inadequate on here also.This place and the internet is my only interest tbh.Ah that doesn't sound like it makes sense sorry.

handbag (hug) xx

I dont have cat on here anymore but would like to email someone but i dont want to say where i am because it will make me more recognisable.

Thanks nickschick.

You can have my E-mail Handbag Crumb (I love this name BTW!) I'm japtaincack at yahoo dot co dot uk. Mail me whenever you like. You don't even have to put your real name if you don't want to. x

You can email me too. kirk96 at blueyonder dot co dot uk

Thankyou sirius you are kind.

Thankyou

We could chat on here too. Can sympathise with a lot of your OP. Been through similar myself. I'm usually about on here somewhere if you want to!

I will mail you but am so tired mentally that i think i will do so tommorrow at some point.
Not sure what to say though.

Say whatever you want! Hope you get some good sleep.

Hi, periods all over the place and iffy skin are indications of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), google it and there's plenty of websites. I have it. I changed to Dianette to help with skin problems but side effects of Dianette are mood-swings and depression so I came off it bloody quickly as I really noticed a change in my moods. Change your GP, ask about tests for PCOS as once you know what it is, you can deal with it. Good luck

I have bad history of anxiety/depression, and have just been on an ad which wasn't working.

I have been switched to one called clomipramine which is meant to be the most powerful and effective one there is. Particuarly effective in treatment resistant depression I believe. I know you don't want to take tablets...but when they work they really help

Siriusmew have mailed you.

I meant to say that i didn't take the Dianette that the GP gave me as i was a bit wary of taking it.