My dp has just called the wedding off.

[jrsqueak]

Things have been so rocky for a while now. I suffer from anxiety/depression. This morning we had a huge row and he said he can't cope with supporting me anymore and is cancelling everything.
I can't cope - I actually stood in the kitchen after he went to work washing dishes and wondered how easy it would be slit my wrists when I picked up a knife.

Can I suggest that you get back to your doctor?
This sounds similar to my lowest point when I realised that my low points were not 'normal' and I was rationalising whether to kill myself or my 8 week old DS.
Hopefully someone with a bit more helpful advice will be along but I didn't want you to go unanswered.

I totally understand how you feel, but really that is not the answer. I can also (kind of) see his point. I am sure he is thinking he is not good enough for you if he can't make you better iyswim? People who have never suffered from depression can't understand that you can be extremely happy and yet suicidal at the same time. And its possible he is feeling a bit of pressure from the wedding as well, it is a very big commitment and people always assume it is more stressful for the woman because of the dress/hair/bridsmaids etc, but in actual fact many men find it so much worse.
I don't mean to pry, but are there any other problems in your life that are causing these thoughts? I always used to find it was the accumulation of things that would push me over the edge, not an isolated incident. I'm not saying that he is in any way in the right here, just that there may be other issues as well

can you ring him at work and ask him to come home asap
he can't cancel everything and then just walk out
he needs to sit down and discuss it with you

sorry to hear about your troubles.deep breath cup of tea.and think.don't do anything rash,maybe leave a few hours to pass before phoning him.think and process this without getting too overwhelmed.get some thinking time.go out for a walk,get some fresh air.remove yourself away from potential risks

do you live together,will he return home?

can you see a friend a confidant.who can support you

if you are in distress can you call the CMHT or CPN?is there anyone who helps alleviate your anxieties

I have no experience of depression but do suffer with anxiety. I would second going to see your GP ASAP, especially if you are feeling suicidal.

Do you have any family or friends near by that can come and sit with you.

I am sure your DP doesn't really mean calling the wedding off, he is probably just feeling frustrated. It is no excuse though, he should not have said that then left you on your own. If that is how he feels he needs to sit down with you and discuss it.

I really hope you get some help and support.

Thank you all
I have not seen my cpn since beginning of december and she has just cancelled this fridays appt. I just feel so alone. I lost touch with so many friends when I moved North. We had a massive row with his family over Christmas caused by my paranoia(sp). And they don't even ring for a chat not that they did before much anyway. I am sure they think I am just seeking attention.

There are always people to chat to on here jrsqueak so you don't have to feel alone. If talking about your problems with someone really helps, then don't hold back and have a good moan, bitch or scream if you need to I hope we have helped a little x

call cmht ask if someone can come see you if you want.explain you feel low.may help to see someone

Thank you all. we had a long talk last night and he said he didn't mean it - he just snapped. To be fair I don't really think he has anyone to vent to as his family don't appear to very supportive of the situation. I am feeling a lot better today - I probably over reacted posting on here but just needed someone to talk to iykwim x

do take care,watch things dont get on top of you,and yes better oot than in.for both of you

you both had a bad day,thing is plenty more days ahead.good and bad so dont dwell or stew both of you