Why can't I let things go?

[electra]

For as long as I could remember, since childhood, if something upsetting happens or I can't understand why someone has done something, it goes round and round in my head and I can't let it go. It is there all the time - alongside a lot of other thoughts which all coexist and melt into each other.

For years I didn't realise that most other people don't do this! In recent times, when I became ill the obsessive thinking became worse, at which point I experienced 'tumbling thoughts' of the same thing - it's then that I can't function.

Lately I have been taking my medication again and have found that it helps me not to do this.

What I'm wondering though is how to find a way forward - would counseling help? Or is it likely to be a biological thing to do with me that I will not be able to change and that will only respond to medication?

Hi, I have been asking myself the same question for a while now and have no idea what the solution is. I find it hard to let go of thoughts/people/possessions...am starting counselling soon to see if that can help me change my thought patterns as I am so sick of it all! Will watch this thread with interest, tho am sorry I can't be of any help

Oh yes, I'm not on any meds but am wondering if maybe I should be...

am also watching with interest, but have no advice. You're not alone at all, my DM is similar to me, but no-one else I know seems troubled.

I can't offer professional advice but it sounds like the answer is in the original post, that is the way you describe your experiences would indicate you are replaying them in your mind as you are trying to understand your thoughts or upsetting situations.

Until you can find a way to understand them you will potentially keep replaying those thoughts until you find an answer or a different perspective?

I found a big shift happened for me when talking to a friend about an upsetting situation and the person replied 'they were doing their best'. It took me a while to process what that meant. I gradually came to understand it as that they were doing their best with the tools they had at the time. I originally thought that this particular person that had upset me could have made a different choice, but it then occurred to me that maybe they didn't realise they had other choices.

Has anyone looked at cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or mindfulness based cognitive therapy (MBCT)? After lots of positive studies he NHS are rolling this out throughout the UK. It helps to rewire the thoughts and consequently the feelings and the behaviours.

Hope this makes some sense

I've had CBT before for an anxiety disorder I had after my daughter was born - which was effetive for that. I don't have an official diagnosis, but have had times where I was very unwell and suicidal. My psychiatrist thinks it's most likely to be bipolar disorder but it has also been suggested I have a personality disorder like BPD. I think that my entrenched, unhealthy thinking patterns may be the foundation for my illness, or at least they have helped it manifest itself.

I have bispolar depression and it has been suggested a personality disorder ( I am a nice person though) I find it very hard to let go of things and get caught in very destructive patterns of thought.
It is much worse if I am not on my medication.

I do this all the time.

I analyze things constantly.

Always thinking if only, I wish.

Think if I wish hard enough it will/won't have happened

I stress far too much

try meditation - buddhist mindfulness meditation is (in part) exactly this, rather than emptying your mind, it's about observing your thoughts and letting them go.

i know the initial prospect of being alone with your thoughts with no distractions can be incredibly scary and it does take practice to get into it, but i've found it (the little i've done) incredibly helpful as a step towards finding peace of mind (long history of depression).

it's effectively similar to cbt as it tackles those ingrained patterns of thought, but from a different perspective, one of acceptance rather than change.

see if you can find a course locally or try the guided meditations here (go to teachings>audio files). they're really very good, and they cater very well to non-buddhists imho.