My dear friend is having a rough time of it. This is quite long, but want to explain properly. Would appreciate any advice.
Bit of background: She is a very beautiful, high achieving woman (32 yrs old), single and lives alone. She holds down a responsible management job and has a wide circle of friends and hobbies etc. In 2007/early 2008 she went through a very deep depression - almost a nervous breakdown, I would say. She left her old job and went travelling for a bit, but came back after a few months as she was feeling worse, not better. She also got very intensely involved with a man while she was away and they were planning on getting married, but it all went pear shaped and she decided that she had liked the idea of getting married more than the actual man.
Slowly, she turned things around during 2008. She started going to group therapy sessions, got very fit, found a new job and seemed back to her old self. We have had many long talks over the past few months and she has seemed the happiest I have seen her in years. She has said as much herself.
She went away over Xmas and when she returned she came to my house for dinner. She looked and sounded relaxed and refreshed. We had a lovely meal and a right giggle and parted with the promise of meeting up for dinner again very soon.
On Tuesday a mutual close friend (the three of us are more like sisters as have been friends since childhood) called me and said she was worried about our friend - that she had sounded very low in a telephone conversation. I promptly called her, but her phone was switched off. I left a voicemail and texted her to say I was here if she needed to talk. She didn't return my texts over the next few days and her phone was permanently switched off. This is very unlike her. Even in her deepest depression, she would always answer her phone to me. Today I texted her and just said 'Sweetie, please call me, am worried about you.'. She called back a while later and her tone of voice just sounded so weird. She sounded spaced out and devoid of emotion and just answered everything I said with 'mmm'. She said she had come home from work on Tue night and suddenly had hours and hours of hysterical crying and feeling suicidal. No warning. She had felt a bit tired that day at work, but nothing that would explain this outburst of just sheer, terrible pain. She had spent two hours on the hone to the Samaritans and says she 'scared herself with wishing she wasn't here anymore'. She has been off work since Tues and has been to therapy this morning. She has a doctor's appt this afternoon. I had a long conversation with her today but it was mostly one sided.I offered for her to come to mine for dinner and to stay the night with me if she needs to, but she declined. She said 'What's the point in talking about it?'
I feel out of my mind with worry that she is going to do something stupid. I texted her after our telephone conversation and said 'I am here for you. You are NOT alone'. She hasn't replied.
What should I do? I don't want to be overbearing and want to give her her space, but I am so worried.