Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Feel so down and stressed and feel i cant talk to anyone in case i upset them all more

13 replies

Momma3 · 13/01/2009 01:43

Been crying now for over an hour and a half, cant seem to stop. has been building up now for nearly a year and feel i am almost at breaking point. my fam and friends are very supportive but i feel i cant talk to any of them honestly and tell them i feel like my heart is being ripped out. every day i get up and carry on with a smile on my face and i am sure everyone thinks everything is ok. every day i watch my little beautiful 6 year old plod on never complaining that he has to take horrible medicines or miss school, he doesnt complain if he is throwing up from the effects of the chemo he is having every 3 weeks in 6. he has gone from such a strong confident little boy to a shell of what he was, he has no confidence now and is so easily upset. he gets confused when u ask him simple questions and he cant remember the answers. he struggles to eat most of the time so is fed overnight by a tube up his nose....but he never complains. is so unfair. it hurts so much. sorry but needed to get this off my chest. dont even think it has helped much. i feel selfish for feeling this way i should be happy he is getting the treatment but i feel i cant allow myself to get my hopes up too much about him getting better just in case the tumor comes back.

OP posts:
treedelivery · 13/01/2009 01:52

Oh I don't know how you find the strength courage and bravery to breathe. Someone who can share this with you wil be along soon to help you in anyway they can.
I'd crumple up on the floor. You have all my respect.

HolyGuacamole · 13/01/2009 02:03

Could not let your post go without replying

So sorry for what you are going through and you have every right to feel the way you do. I am sorry I can't give any really helpful advice but I just wanted to post with some support for you and to listen if you need it. Spill your troubles on here and cry as much as you need to, you are not being selfish. You are only human and what a brave little boy you have.

This may sound like a very stupid question so forgive me, but are you going to be ok tonight?

Momma3 · 13/01/2009 02:07

yeah am fine really think i am just having a bad day will prob be fine in the morning, am just trying to get a grip before i go back to bed. just needed to get it off my chest. thanks tho' x

OP posts:
HolyGuacamole · 13/01/2009 02:17

I'm glad It's amazing what a good cry can do for your sanity. I hope you can get a decent sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling a little better, ready to fight another day.

Sending hugz

bcsnowpea · 13/01/2009 05:42

Oh Momma, I'm so sorry for you and your little one, but it really sounds like you're being such a strong mum for him.

I agree that it always does feel better to have a good cry, but it's sad that you're worried to keep sharing these things with the people in your life. I know we all feel that way sometimes, taking the world on our shoulders and trying to protect everyone else. Maybe a good idea might be to find a counsellor to speak to - not necessarily trying to solve problems, but if you're paying them to listen then you won't feel so guilty about saying all the things you need to?

NotQuiteCockney · 13/01/2009 07:04

You can always call the Samaritans or similar. Parentline? If you need someone to talk to (which everyone deserves, but you deserve more than most), and the people in your life aren't up for it, use the volunteers!

treedelivery · 13/01/2009 11:43

Hope your feeling better today. I can imagine life must be so so hard for you. Agreee with NotQuiteCockney and also mumsnet for support - you need it to help you get ds through his challenges. I'm sure every last member of your family who know what you are going through feel the same you know- cos who wouldn't?
You seem to be living through what would be one of my worst nightmares and I'm sure there will be mums around here who have done it or are doing it that you could empty it all out to when you need to.

Momma3 · 13/01/2009 12:17

Thanks for your messages, am feeling a little better this morning, am still really teary tho cant seem to get a grip now i started to cry its like i cant stop. as u can imaginge i look great today with swollen eyes, had to get a friend to take my other son to school this morning i looked that terrible. am sure i will manage to pull myself together and carry on that is the type of person i am. i just had a weak moment last night thanks for listening. x

OP posts:
treedelivery · 13/01/2009 12:53

Christ I have weak moments if I leave my cash card at home or the car needs taxing. Bless you.

HolyGuacamole · 13/01/2009 23:39

Hey Momma, hope your feeling a little better tonight.

subster · 14/01/2009 10:52

Hey Momma3
I've just logged on & read this thread & it's bringing tears to my eyes-i cant even begin to imagine what you are going through.
Hope today is a little bit better.
Someone mentioned talking to a counsellor which sounds good. Can the hospital or your GP surgery or HV put you in contact with parents like yourself who have children undergoing chemo-just so you can share experiences & hopefully feel better supported.Does the hospital your son attends have a counselling system?

Good luck & keep posting

Momma3 · 22/01/2009 22:33

hi there had some good news today, ds had an mri scan last week and we had the results today. all is looking good at the moment.
thanks for all the messages, am feeling a lot more possitive now. thanks

OP posts:
Haribosmummy · 22/01/2009 22:36

Lovely to read your last message. thinking of you. xxx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page