anyone have experience of depression *after* stopping bf?

[puppydetox]

lol, long shot i know, but i'm often surprised at the range of experiences here.

everything i can find on breastfeeding and depression suggests the link is the other way round i.e. stop feeding and start feeling better. stopped feeding my 19mo just after xmas, we'd been on just the one evening feed for a few months, but i was ready to stop. since then i've noticed a return of a familiar generalised anxiety - nothing major, but a definite change - haven't felt like this since she was born. i'm hoping i can nip it in the bud with exercise, diet etc. but tbh it's a downer in itself, a "here we go again" kinda feeling.

i noticed the link last time i stopped too - my moods seem to stabilise quite significantly with pg and bf hormones. then when i stop i return to what, for me, is normal service - up/down mood swings, anxiety etc. last time i nosedived into quite a serious depression, but that was precipitated by other stuff too.

so i guess i'm just fancying a bit of a chat with anyone who can relate

I have depression still and felt really low at the thought of giving up tbh. It was the only thing I have ever felt in my life I could do well. I miss it.

I expressed full time with my first and when I stopped when she was 6 months (from 8 times a day to none in around 2 weeks) I did become depressed and really did miss those feel good hormones and all the general snuggling that breastfeeding entails. This time I fed dd2 for longer and didn't really cut down her main feeds (at night) until she was 2 - come to think of it, about a month later I ended up back on anti-depressants but never figured the 2 might be related this time.

I plunged into PND within two weeks of stopping bfing ds1 at ~5m. With dd I stopped feeding over a period of months, very slowly, yet the two weeks after her last feed at 23m were a nightmare of depression and anxiety, after which I surfaced again. With ds2 I had the same thing when I dropped nightfeeds at about 18m - two weeks of anxiety and depression. So I'm fairly sure that it's about hormonal readjustment. The first time resulted in a proper, clinical, depression. The other two times did not, and I'm not sure why. Perhaps because I was mentally and emotionally healthier then than the first time. Or perhaps because I was so much further on from the pregnancy and birth.

wow thanks everyone - it helps to know i'm not alone (i.e. not imagining it!).

bf has always been a bit of a double edged sword for me, both times have been a bit of a struggle (although nothing compared to what a lot of people go through) so while i enjoy the cwtshing bit it also feels like a bit of a burden, that i'm ready to let go when the time comes. i can only imagine how hard it must be to give up when it's been such a comfort NAB.

prettycandles thanks that's really reassuring, and it hadn't occurred to me, that it may just be an adjustment rather than a permanent change. it needn't be a rerun of last time. i stopped at 14mo w/dd2 and went pretty loopy quite soon after. there's a huge chunk of dd1's toddlerhood that i just don't remember, so it's rather poignant watching dd2 at this stage, as though it's the first time i'm doing it.

sorry, that should be "i stopped at 14mo w/dd1"