I went to the doctors a few months ago but im scared to go back

[fernie3]

hi
I have had problems with depression and anxiety for about 3 years. It has got to the point now where I cant go out alone and havent been out on my own for over 18 months, I very rarely go out even if my husband is with me. I feel very down, and just sit queitly on my own during the day, my children just play around me.

I went to the doctors a couple of months ago and he did a blood test and told me to come back in a week to talk again, but i cant face going back. I dont have anyone who could come with me.

I try very hard to stop things getting out of control, but at this point things are very hard.

If i go back to the doctors what will he say after all this time? is there anything he can do to help? I am also 33 weeks pregnant which is mankign things more difficult anyway.

sophie

The doctor won't make any judgement at all about you going back after a delay. She or he will understand the paralysing effect of depression. So that is one worry you can tick off the list.

But I understand how hard it will be in any case to summon up the resolve to go. Depression makes every step hard.

Presumably at 33 weeks pregnant you are seing ante-natal care professionals. Tell them your state of mind. They will want to know and help. They can make the referral for you.

Failing that, just take it a bit at a time. Make the appointment. That is something achieved. THen plan how you will manage to get there.

They might well be able to help you feel better. Good luck.

You must go back to your GP. The doctor won't judge you for not going back sooner...just tell him how you feel, that your anxious, frightened, unable to leave the house etc. Its a big step, I understand that but you'll feel so much relief once you've made it.
Are you having antenatal care? Could you mention something to your midwife?

The doctor might feel sorry that you didnt go back earlier, as then they could have done something to help you earlier, but they wont be annoyed, if that is what you are worrying about.

Go back to your GP if you can. Could you tell your midwife how you feel? Sometimes antenatal services have special access to psychiatry, so they might hopefully be able to help you in that way.

hi
thanks for the replies. I am worried about them thinking I didnt want to go back (I did but just couldnt).

I am seeing a consultant at the hospital because I had preeclampsia twice before. I havent really seen my normal midwife all of my care has been through the consultant. I mentioned to her about it and how anxious I feel, and she went insane - she took my blood pressure and pulse etc then told me she thought there was something wrong with me because my pulse was so high and admitted me to the hospital for an ECG, referred me to a cardiologist and i had to have loads of blood tets etc.

everything turned out to be fine (was just anxiety) but the whole thing made me feel a hundred times worse and im a bit wary of really mentioning it again to her.

thanks
sophie

Im not suprised you're reluctant to mention it then. Im suprised that your consultant did all those medical investigations to look for a physiological reason for your anxiety and didnt just ask you how you felt etc. If she had she would have known that you needed a sympathetic ear, counselling or antidepressants not a whole load of anxiety inducing tests.
Please go to your GP. He may be able to see the bigger picture. Does your DH go with you for your antenatal appointments? Would he go with you to the GP if you explained to him how you feel?

Hi fernie3 - I would expect that the doctor will simply see your reluctance/delay in going back as a symptom of your depression.

It does sound as if it would be a really good idea for you to go back as your depression sounds like its really affecting your life. The knock-on of that is that it will be really affecting your children as well and, even if only for their sake, it would be good to see if your doctor can suggest anything which might help.

hi
thanks for the replies. I am worried about them thinking I didnt want to go back (I did but just couldnt).

I am seeing a consultant at the hospital because I had preeclampsia twice before. I havent really seen my normal midwife all of my care has been through the consultant. I mentioned to her about it and how anxious I feel, and she went insane - she took my blood pressure and pulse etc then told me she thought there was something wrong with me because my pulse was so high and admitted me to the hospital for an ECG, referred me to a cardiologist and i had to have loads of blood tets etc.

everything turned out to be fine (was just anxiety) but the whole thing made me feel a hundred times worse and im a bit wary of really mentioning it again to her.

thanks
sophie

hi there
its the doctors job to tell you if a blood test is abnormal~not yours!
they would have rung ages ago if it was a problem so don't worry
in fact don't worry what the dr is thinking about you at all,it's a pitfall of depression that's all ,to think things are more significant than they are

sorry pressed back then refreshed the page so reposted the same message!

will def go back to the doctors - seems logical when i write it down but in my head it seems like a huge thing

sophie

hi fernie3,sorry not posted earlier i didn't notice your post.
how's things and did you manage to get an appt/back to gp?
One thing may be worth trying is homestart who send a matched trained volunteer to your house 1 to 2 times per week to help out with whatever you need,such as some emotional support,help getting los ready and going to toddler groups together etc.The volunteer is a parent whohas expeerienced the difficulties of parenting themselves and basically is in the role of a friend and all exchanges are confidential.They can attend appointments with you and help build up your confidence etc,aswell as opportunities to broaden communications with community

am not suggesting you have any parenting difficulties btw,most mums are just a bit isolated becos of being sahms etc
so its not for "problems",its voluntary,and its for support for you.
I think every mum needs that actually,esp if you don't have any children in school or live in rural area etc

The feelings that you are having about the doctor are a part of your anxiety. They will not mind at all, as the doctor will know that your inability to return was part of your illness. It will be difficult, but you can go back.

I nearly ran away today, from the waiting room, but i stayed and this evening feel different, not better, but more + than before.

Good luck.