feeling very low about christmas, anyone else feel the same?

[dontreallylikechristmas]

I feel like scrouge and I feel very guilty about this. Have a history of depression, doing very well now though but last week or so have had very depressed feelings, and unappropriate saddness. Am lethargic, not taking pleasure in things I usually do and have strong feelings of wanting to curl up away from the world. I dont want to die, I am usually fairly happy, especially thsi last year where my depressions been under control. But its this time of year. My daughter should be here but she was still born, christmas without children is hard. I imagine what it would be like... I dont get on with my family much, but I will spend the day with them for my nans sake, its very hard. I dread christmas day. I love the lights, the trees, the songs, the atmosphere etc its the actual day I hate and knowing its getting closer really upsets me. Have been smoking again this week, gave up years ago, it does help to calm me down, as does walking so figure that its better than having a full on break down. I dont drink at all as it makes me feel lower so a cigarette is my glass of wine. Anyone else struggling this time of year? I know it will pass, I am focusing on that.

oh god, you poor thing, you should have been spending Christmas entirely differently, and no wonder you are so low.

cyber hugs to you. I am sorry for your loss.
x

I feel like i have found my twin! Yes, i feel like you!

I assume you don't have children, neither do i, you have a history of depression, so do i, you gave up smoking years ago, so did i, recently smoking again which is exactly like me.

I love the idea of christmas but it doesn't seem right, if you see what i mean? Like you can't rightfully enjoy christmas without the missing piece of the jigsaw?

I am sorry for your loss.
This christmas think about how next christmas is going to be great?

You poor soul, i've been whinging on another thread but can't even begin to imagine what you've been through. .

Christmas is hard for anyone who falls outside the 'normality gap' (you know, that non existent world where everything is a-ok and Christmas is about snow and starry nights etc). There's another thrad like this in this section, I have one in SN. So at least you're not alone I guess.

Thanks cat and peachy.

Smile I am sorry you are feeling the same way

Not sure if I should phone my GP tomorrow, don't really think there is much point but equally I would love to say to someone how I feel. I feel so lonely over Christmas time, everyone else is so involved with their families (rightly so) and I just feel incredibly alone. Desperately want to call in sick for work tomorrow, am in fear of bursting in to tears.

Have phoned GP, shes going to call back. Not sure what to say though. Am lying on the couch have no energy. Am going to try and force myself to get up in a minute and do some normal tasks for ten minutes or so, because lying here isnt helping.

I'm so sorry yuo are feeling low -- and I'm sorry to hear about your little girl.

Christmas puts so many expectations on us, and those are hard to fulfill when you feel so down. Well done for calling GP. Hope you get some help. Don't worry at all about the smoking: you can't tackle that when you are feeling bad. Don't put any pressure on yourrself

The 10 minute idea sounds really sensible.

Thanks. Managed to get a few things done. Have got dressed in one of my favourite outfits and done my hair - silly I know but usually when I feel like this I dress in baggy jeans and a hoodie which doesnt help. Got to go to work soon and Dr hasnt called me back, cant really speak to her at work so not sure what to do.

Trying to eat really healthily incase that helps - no idea if it will but I would probably eat raw sprouts at the moment if someone said that would help

God, I really feel for you, it must be a hard time. Any chance you cd completely avoid the traditional xmas whilst still making the most of the time off? Help instead at a hostel or take off for last minute holiday in the sun? Other than that, exercise and good diet helps, as i'm sure you know.

That sounds good, dontreally -- concentrate on those little achievements one at a time and give yourself full credit for all the things you do achieve.

I feel low because of the enormous pressure to make it a special time for my children. I just haven't the energy for decorations, cooking,making magic, socailising. So I feel really scared that my children are mssing onu on the kind of christmas they should have. So I get moer miserable and lethargic, ad infinitum

I am sorry you are feeling this way , I feel similar with no good reason quite frankly and you may have given me the kick up the bottom I needed.

I think lots of us just put too much pressure on ourselves,

My bro is struggling as this time last year he tried to kill himself.

A lot of people will be in the same boat. Don't spend Christmas by yourself. If you don't get on with family, why not just drop in for your nan's sake, but say you have plans to be elsewhere. Is there not a friend you could drop by on? A lot of churches or centres do a community Christmas meal on Christmas Day that is open for anyone. Your local radio station should know who is putting one on near you. You may find a few friends there!

Do little things to cheer yourself up. Go through the TV Guide and circle all the progs you fancy watching. Get yourself a nice treat for Christmas Day, a box of chocs or something you really want. Buy a bunch of flowers to put on your windowsill to brighten the room. Write your daughter a letter, it has so many psychological benefits to get your feelings out in this way. Volunteer to help out at a hostel or something like that, so that you feel useful and needed.

So sorry this time of year is bad for you. You are not alone, please do look after yourself, change happens whether you like it or not, so embrace that change, this time next year who knows where you will be?

That's a lovely post CRSEIH. I really hope that your brother is feeling a bit happier now.

was going to post but wise ol' cliff has beaten me to it, very sound advice.
Look after yourself.

Rest, gentle excercise, some feel-good things, talking to others, eating little and often, will all help you.