counselling advice - is this as good as it gets/

[Momino]

hi all. had a very scary bout with anxiety, PND, stress earlier this year for which i've been seeing my GP and a counsellor (not on ad's as now pregnant). after about 12 sessions with couns, i feel like i can manage better, can now sleep, not as hypochondriac, can look after my 2 girls without staring into space all the time.

however, i am still very negative, anxious, angry, stressed, down, etc. I feel 'better' but now worried that this is the best I'm going to get, that i'm at heart a miserable person. Importantly, I don't feel excited about this baby and really want to turn this attitude around.

my dilemma is that my counsellor wants me to tell her at my session tomorrow what is the way forward, how I want to use the next sessions. I don't know, I wanted her to tell me!

will i get any better? have any of you reached a plateau thinking 'now what'? I don't feel like i'm a basket case anymore but I certainly don't feel like the person I want to be.

12 sessions is not much time at all.

What sort of counselling is it? What are you discussing? Is it results-based? Or are you looking at the root causes of your issues?

There's certainly no shame or harm in carrying on until you feel actually better - don't you deserve that? Don't your girls deserve that?

thanks notquitecockney, I do need to think about what I/my girls/dh deserve.

had session this morning and the counsellor said we need to look at more long-term solutions which would need commitment from me. She has been looking at the root causes of my depression which seems to go back further than the PND from my last dd's birth.

I'm not sure what 'solution' she means (CBT?) but I am committed though I'm so doubtful I can change how I am. but I really WANT to change. she also said she's not sure what is available - money is an issue for us, I'm afraid - but we'll talk about it in Jan.

I just wish I felt more confident that it can get better than this which is still rather negative and miserable though, thankfully, out of the spiral downward. looking at these posts, I see I'm not alone.

I do think people can change. Often the solution, from what I know, is about recognising the root causes (aka shitty things from your childhood), acknowledging that they happened, and that they weren't your fault, weren't what you deserved, and moving on from there.

But this isn't a fast process, I'm afraid.

They use CBT on the NHS a lot. It is certainly NOT a magic bullet. NQC is so right in pointing out that it is important to recognise and acknowledge things in your life and accept that they are not your fault, and that it takes time to come to terms with all of it!

Money is a problem if there is little NHS support in your area. It's certainly the case where I live! There are charities that can help, and can help you to keep the cost down.

I think confidence can be learned, to a certain extent, by affirmations and that kind of thing, but that kind of thing is rubbish if you feel as though you're running on empty.

If there is any research going on, you may be able to get some therapy for free. It may be worth asking your gp about that.

It is also worth asking when you can start taking anti ds again. I took them after the first trimester and they were fine for bf.