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Original poster

i cant keep doing this.

50 replies

misdee · 21/03/2005 21:00

this is killing me. i am still feeling torn between keeping things normal at home, and seeing dh at the hospital. but now he is even further away. and getting to see him is harder, so the kids end up with nanny for longer. dd1 is missing dh like mad, dd2 is ignoring him, dd3 doesnt really know him . I feel like i can never do enough for him. i aways want to feel like i'm doing something useful, but he doesnt need anything apart from company. but i cant talk for hours like some people, so we end up playing cards. Then i feel guilty when i have to leave. i cant even stay a few days at the patient relatives flats as they dont allow children to stay, and i am breastfeeding dd3. and dont think i could get babysitters overnight for the other 2 if they did allow dd3 to stay with me.

just want this all to end now. why cant we have a normal life free from health worries?

OP posts:
noddyholder · 21/03/2005 21:48

Why are they sending him home when he is so ill?Can't they keep him in until a heart becomes available he must be high priority as he is so young with a young family.As i said before don't worry too much about visiting look after yourself and the babies he has a whole team looking out for him.Pre transplant patients are seriously indulged IME

Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 21:50

he isnt as ill as others. just this damned fluid retention problem.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 21/03/2005 21:51

Is he still full of fluid/

Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 21:52

not as full. but gained 2kg in 24hrs, so they have upped dirutics again.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 21/03/2005 21:55

they will probably keep him til that is sorted as that puts a huge strain on the heart which in turn causes the fluid to build up more It is a catch 22 situation but the diuretics will do it hopefully When are you next seeing him?What about the LVAD?

Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 21:55

LVAD is strong possibility if meds dont help. but its a 40k device apparently

OP posts:
noddyholder · 21/03/2005 21:57

its only money nothing for you to worry about Thats what we pay taxes for.I have to go now dp calling me but will 'speak'tomorrow Goodnight and don't worry

Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 22:02

dd3 has hearing check on the 7th due to her funny ear, and really want dh with me for that. but i know even if he is out of hospital he wont be able to walk from the car park to the clinic

OP posts:
Blossomhill · 21/03/2005 22:04

(Hugs) Misdee. I really wish I could wave a magic wand for you, I really do xxx

Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 22:05

i hate relying on others as well. poor old mieow, think she is just as tired as me with all this.

OP posts:
sparklymieow · 21/03/2005 22:06

I am tired yes! But I don't mind, its DH that has a problem not me, he just misses me I think!!

Blossomhill · 21/03/2005 22:07

Yes but you can't help it misdee. Nobody wants this, it's not your fault. Stop feeling bad as you have enough to worry about x

Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 22:12

doesnt help my dad says about how much running around he does. makes me feel guilty as hell for asking for help.

OP posts:
sparklymieow · 21/03/2005 22:14

ha!!! He hardly does anything, Mum was just saying how much she has to do next week, I haven't stopped today, and all they done was take you to Harefield,

sparklymieow · 21/03/2005 22:15

and who has been doing everything for you (no complaints here mind!!)

Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 22:15

no, they went to stevenage for a meal as well.

they do more for other sister weith taking her dd back as they look after neice during the week.

OP posts:
Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 22:16

you are great sis.

but really wish i didnt have to rely on you all so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
misdee · 21/03/2005 22:16

maybe i should look into exchanging with someone in chorleywood/rickmansworth.

OP posts:
sparklymieow · 21/03/2005 22:18

I don't mind, you can come here whenever you know that...... We will sort out a set shopping day and we will both get our shopping (and then DH can't moan)

Original poster
misdee · 22/03/2005 08:05

feeling useless today. just called my mum to take dd1 to school as i cant face the rain with 3 kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
misdee · 22/03/2005 09:37

i should really get off the pc and go and do something. am just wallowing in my own self pity.

OP posts:
nikcola · 22/03/2005 12:20

hi hunny how are you? are you kids not broken up from school yet?

Original poster
misdee · 22/03/2005 22:10

Kids break up on thursday. dh said he wanted to make cakes with dd1 this weekend, but looks like he wont be out.

fed up still.

OP posts:
nikcola · 22/03/2005 22:30

oh hun i dont no what to say i really dont but im hear if you need a moan, do you no when he will be home? the kids will have a fab easter at home with their new sis

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} hugs for you dds and dp xxxxxxxxx

nikcola · 22/03/2005 22:37

im off to bed luv i cant keep my eyes open but ill be on pc all day tommorow as im studying hopefully,
so hopefully speak to you then take care and give a hug from me to your lovely girls {{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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