Depression and my partner.. AIBU to consider splitting up?

[Janos]

Cross-posted in Relationships as well. Sort of a cross-over.

And I'm not posting in AIBU because I'm feeling quite fragile and not up the general, urm, 'robustness' one gets over there.

Some folk may recall I have posted a couple of time over the last few weeks about feeling depressed/knackered not happy about my body etc. Well, the depressed feeling is not lifting and now I think it's time to go the docs. Long story short, I've had some mental health issues (severe PND) believe me I know the signs. My feeling is, things aren't getting better. Time to see the docs and get some ADs. I know they are not for everyone, that's fine, but for me they have been - literally - a life saver.

Have also been with my DP for around a year. We do not live together. I am a single parent to a lovely - but demanding - DS and work full time. So as you can imagine my life is pretty knackering as it is and I'm constantly juggling.

Anyway.

DP and I have been arguing a bit lately leaving me feeling worn out, I'm not a tempestuous person or an arguer and I find it very draining. I want peace and quiet in my free time. LOL. He is under stress trying to find work etc. He's been a bit short tempered, I've been tired, not a great combination.

Today I tell him I am going to the docs (see above) and he tells me that is not a good idea, exercise and cod liver oil will sort me out. I point out that it's a bit more serious than that and as I've had problems before I know what I'm talking about. So then I get a lecture on mental health and how pills are dangerous etc etc and can promote suicide, his dad knows all about them and used to sell them so he KNOWS they're bad etc whole tone of which was very patronising. I responded fairly calmly I think and sad that really upset me and I was quite angry and would he please leave me alone. To which I got a petulant response about he was having a hard time too and blah blah (it reminded me of my 4 year old stamping his feet and saying NOT FAIR).

To be honest this outburst is the last thing I needed. Reading back this all sounds a bit muddled up but he has done this before - been petulant and angry, picking a fight - and it's wwearing me out.

Right now I'm tired and depressed to be objective about this so I guess I;m looking for some clarity. Thanks.

I realise I might sound a bit petulant too actually. I asked him to leave me alone as I was very upset and didn't want an argument.

i suppose it is hard to extricate what is going on from your depression and whether his petulance etc stems from things not being right anyway, or are excacerbated by you being unwell

at the end of the day, you have to make the choice as to what is best for your health, and taking tablets and seeking medical help is a valuable step. excercise and and complimentrary therapies might help stave off depression, but once you are there, and have been there before, you need more than that.

if you feel that he is dragging you down and adding to your stress, you mabye should consider a break or a permanetn split, especially if you do not feel he is supporting you and he is adding to your woes

if he is wearing you out when you have limited emotional energy, it might be time for a break

sorry you are feeling so low

Thank you lulumama.

I do feel that the depression may be exacerbating things and making them seem worse than they are.

But he is aware of my 'history' so the patronising tine and lack of support, plus downright lack of respect that I know my own mind and body well enough be aware of what is right for it (arf how pompous that sounds)..that does bother me.

He does have good qualities. I am fairly sure he is depressed himself although I know he would never admit it.