Am at the end of my tether with depressed dh - long

[leoemma]

Hi here is the background. 7years ago my dh had a nervous breakdown after a year of severe depression, he still suffers but it manifests itself through OCD constant checking of doors, windows, electrical sockets and he worries constantly. HIs latest thing is that there might be aspestos in our heating system so he is not sleeping and it takes him over an hour to lock up the house. He wont talk to me he says I should know what is wrong but my patience is wearing thin. His counselling was stopped at xmas due to lack of funding but he wont go tot he doctor again. He wont let me lock up as he says it defeats the object. We both work full time, me being the main earner, we have two children under 4. I wnat to help him but am ashamed to say I am not sure I can be bothered any longer, Thanks for reading.

My sympathy for you. Don't have any advice except to say I understand. My dh also suffers from depression off and on. Over the years we've been married I've nearly left on a few occasions. He also had a breakdown and disappeared for a bit. It is hard to cope with and sometimes I feel guilty because I've kinda blocked out his problems so I can live a little and keep the children happy.
I think it's okay to feel stressed by caring for someone who is basically ill but you also need a break of some kind. Even if it's just an evening out with a friend.

Thannks so much for that. I feel so heartless but it seems to take over every aspect of our lives.

I don't think you sound heartless - it sounds like you've really supported your dh and worked hard to keep your family going. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
Also remember that you can't make him better - you can only help him so far, he has to take some responsibility. I think my dh started to improve when he realised this.