DH is depressed, I don't know what to do, advice and support please

[comfycardie]

DH was in tears this morning because he didn't want to go to work. Work hasn't been going well and it is probably only a matter of time before they let him go. He is in sales and isn't making money. He got this job after he was asked to resign his last job, he loved that job but the md was a wanker and it all got political, long story short dh really had his confidence knocked because he was doing well.
DH has a history of depression and is on anti-d tablets, he has chronic back problems and a troubled childhood which means he has fragile mental health.

I don't know what to do, I've encouraged him to look for other jobs, which he has but I'm scared that in his current state he won't come across well in interview or be up for starting again. Last time he was this depressed we lost our house and racked up loads of debt we are still struggling to pay back now. Every time we start to get straight either his back gives out or he gets down. I really think that exercise would help him enormously, but all he wants to do is stay in bed, he's tired all the time. When he is well he is excellent at his job and such fun to be round, but when he gets so down, I find it really hard to cope with. My rl friends and family don't really understand, my parents just don't get it. I just wish I had a magic wand to make it all better.

Bumping for you. Could you go out to work instead, or do you already? Not necessarily the best approach to dealing with depression but even for a few months he might respond to a lessening of pressure. Obv if you already work this isn't an option but I thought I would ask.

I work 3 days, I teach so am lucky and can earn reasonable pay for pt work, if I went back ft then I would earn slightly more than dh, but he wouldn't be able to get a well paid pt job so overall we would be worse of iyswim. Also don't know if school would want me ft, probably not until at least easter may have to wait until sept for hours to come up. dd is only just 1, so one of us needs to be home for her really, and although dh thinks he would like to be home more I really don't think that it would be good for his mental health? Don't know, dh and I need to come up with a plan tonight really, we can't carry on like this

me and my dh have both suffered from depression and its very difficult i have no idea how he still managed to go to work all you can do is be there for him and go to gp appointments with him like i did and try to get him to see a counseller it really helped my dh as he finds it hard to tell me how he is feeling. i hope he gets better soon send ing you hugs

Thanks candy. I know we will get through this and it will be ok in the end, I just can't see the end at the moment. So scared about falling into more debt, losing the house, I know it won't be the end of the world, and gosh lots of people deal with worse, but dunno, just so sad. The house is too small, only one bed and we were planning to move to a two bed asap, but can't see how we will do it now, don't want to go back to renting, or god forbid having to live with parents, last time we were renting, moved in with my dad, so hard short term, but no long term credit damage, this time we own, so would be screwed, also didn;t have dd last time, but hey hasn't happened yet

Just wanted to say HI and hope you're ok. You're not alone, there's a thread for partners of those suffering with mental health illnesses on here and you're more than welcome to have a read/post. We all have slightly different circumstances but seem to understand how each other feels - it really is comforting...

((hugs)) xx