Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Flip

Original poster

whats wrong with me i have a fear of going out and seeing people

10 replies

mum2samandalex · 13/11/2008 12:17

friends, neighbours etc ive not been out properly in 2wks ive even stopped taking ds to pre-school just so i dont have to face people and if i do go i deliberately take him extra early or late. I dont even want poeple to visit. I just feel tires and unmotivated and awkward being around people it feels a real effort.

OP posts:

littleoldme · 13/11/2008 12:26

Hi, not sure what advice I can give but didn't want this to go answered.

I've suffered quite badly with anxiety and depression and used to feel like this. I went to my GP who referred me to a counsellor. With plenty of support I got better.

Lots of people feel like this from time to time - you are not on your own but It may be a good idea to visit the docs.

I hope you manage to find your way through this. Just don't believe everything you think. Let us know how you get on.

littleoldme · 13/11/2008 12:29

That should have been "I didn't want this to go unanswered" !

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 13/11/2008 12:32

thankyou for your reply. Im not sure if its depression, pn depression or SAD or stress. Weve recently moved house which needs complete decorating and yet i have no time to do it and my husband works away monday to friday. I have a 4 year old and a very clingy 9mth old.I am the sole child carer and feel suffocated at times that i have no time to myself my 9mth old barely lets me out of his sight and is still waking in the night. Im trying to do a home learning course and it just isnt fitting in. ive lost all movtivation.

OP posts:

Winebeforepearls · 13/11/2008 12:45

Sounds like you're in a similar position to me - recently moved, dh away during most of the week, sole carer to 3 in my case and a house that needs loads doing. At least mine now sleep thru the night, but I'm finding it incredibly tough and recently have been feeling that black dog on my shoulder (I had PND with two of mine so know those feelings well).

You are doing so much by yourself - I couldn't imagine doing any kind of home-learning atm. (Could you drop that, or is that the only thing left for you?)

Is it depression, SAD or PND? I'm not sure it really matters what lable you put on it. If it barks like a dog ... So please do go and see yr GP and talk to your DH when he gets home.

littleoldme · 13/11/2008 13:36

Blimey no wonder you are feeling low -you've got so much on.

Seriously - go and see your GP.

Also, if you live in sure start area they may be able to offer some help.

Hogiabach · 13/11/2008 14:29

You're overwhelmed, and it's not surprising....have you moved to a new area too?

Original poster

mum2samandalex · 13/11/2008 21:38

my husband was in the services so i had a support network very close to me before as we lived in mq's. I could pop into my neighbours for coffee in my PJ's etc if i felt unmotivated which would help iykwim. Although i havent moved too far away from them i feel a bit left out at not haivng that close support especially on days where you cant get bothered to step out of your front door. Im just so mentally and physically tired of bein a mother and a wife. It makes me feel like im being ungrateful i mean loads of women are forced out to work when theyd love to be at home with their kids. I just want to breath as right now i feel like im being suffocated and wasting my life away.I have a friend coming around 2moro and i feel so anxious like i dont know how to be or say feel like im losing my self confidence.

OP posts:

littleoldme · 14/11/2008 13:13

Go and see your doctor - pick up the phone and make an appointment now. Good luck X

ActingNormal · 14/11/2008 16:08

I used to get this off and on although it only lasted a day or two at a time. I couldn't bear the thought of anyone looking at me. Sometimes I skived off work and sat in the house but then imagined someone might look through the curtains so I closed them. Once I went and sat in the attic. I used to be in town and suddenly felt I couldn't stand it any longer and needed to be at home on my own as quickly as possible. If the phone rang or someone knocked on the door I felt really angry and wanted to shout "Go away and leave me alone". I don't get it often now.

It used to be worse if I had PMT, or was too tired to cope, or had things really on my mind. Is this the same for you?

I think it probably is part of depression and anxiety but also I had this fear of people judging me all the time and a fear that they might get angry with me or 'tell me off' like a child or look at me with contempt or somehow humiliate me in front of everybody. In my case it goes back to childhood, could it be the same for you? If so then therapy would help, or maybe some good books on it.

Have you had it on and off before or only recently? Has anything knocked your confidence in what you think people think of you?

ilovejonty · 15/11/2008 13:55

I know how you feel. I sometimes feel like this, I have suffered with anxiety and depression in the past. Now, I think my symptoms are PMS related.

I still have an odd phobia of speaking on the telephone though, I hate phoning friends, actually never do it, but am OK with business calls and OK seeing friends in person most of the time, though there are periods where I just want to stay indoors. I sometimes feel invaded and just long for some peace and time to myself to lounge around. Am at home with 17mo son all day, finding it quite a difficult stage.

Flip