I've not taken my AD's for a week and I'm noticing already that I can't cope

[Grublin]

I ran out of AD's 9 days ago, I've got a prescription to take to the chemist for more, but I've not got round to getting them

Over the past few days my temper has been really short and my tolerance of things is zero.
I've slumped into a black hole and need to shake myself out of it.

Mil noticed that I wasn't myself last week too. Of course I just shrugged it off and said that all was ok and I was just having an off week.

Why is it so easy to pretend all is well on the outside, when you're really down and un motivated inside??

Sorry for a ramble, just need to let it out.

so far so good on the wee brother front .

DD1 is 5 and loves to mother him.

even DD2, nearly 3, wants to shake his bottles or bring them to Mum or Dad and they both like to watch him cry when he gets his nappy changed . he's not too keen on nappy changes or clothes changes yet.

they both found it really funny yesterday when i wasn't quick enough with the nappy and he sprayed everywhere .

it's not fun, PND, BUT i hope by sharing my story other people will realise there's help out there. don't carry on and deny yourself and your children the enjoyment of life.

I've been going through some archives and came across a thread I started last year when I was going through hellish PND.

expat, I also had temazepam on standby for the odd night.

How are you feeling?

a little less fractious today, heinz, thanks.

just taking it day by day. had a good afternoon on my own with him.

he's absolutely GORGEOUS! just working on this time round, really enjoying the family and not letting the black wall come between me and them, been referred for counselling and CBT, which are new for me and looking forward to this.

my parents arrive next Wednesday, thankfully.

the one side effect i generally get is that it can be harder for me to surface from sleep, but i'm hoping once i can get back to exercising things will improve.

am doing some light yoga stretches and i start physio in a couple of weeks (had bad separation of long abdominal muscles).

I am a nightmare for not taking my tablets properly which is ridiculous as I cannot cope without them.

Hope you feel better soon.

i'm good about taking my tablets, me

make sure i put in my refill request 48 hours before hand.

in the morning, i have my tablets, my vitamins, etc. at the same time i give the girls their vits.

I am crap and wonder if it is the illness or just me being crap.

Dp has to give them me. I often wonder if the reason I make such a quick recovery in hospital is that they make me take my tablets regularly.

i get so bad if i don't take them it makes me be good about taking them.

i don't want to get irritable towards DH or the kids.

I know all of that expat and still don;t take them.

I had some private treatment last year and it was suggested that I had a personality disorder and he said my attitude towards my medication was very typical of someone with BPD.

i just have bog-standard PND .

am looking forward to some counselling, though. not gotten to try that yet.

and getting some strategies for my anxiety.

Nowt bog standard about my madness

i find it easier to express mine in writing .

I have my tablets
I'm taking them

Me too expat. Was amazing reading through my thread here if you want a flick through. When I read it back, it makes me realise what a journey I've made, DD is now coming up to 14 months and everything is just happy happy.

PND is UTTERLY horrid and I feel for all that are suffering with it. You have my complete sympathy.

Thanks, Heinz! A very brave thread.

I think the hardest step is admitting there's a problem.

Even if you've been through it before, it's hard to admit it's happening again.

Just not being able to enjoy your own family, feeling like you're a living ghost.

It's a terrible feeling and not a good place to be.

But it helps me keep things in perspective, tbh. It lends a new perspective on life.

expat, I didn't feel brave at the time! Just SO desperate to be 'me' again. You're right about some people finding it hard to admit there's a problem, so sad. How's today been?

Well, that's how I feel, too. Just want to be 'me' again.

Not so good today. Was very sleepy and wonder if it's not from the increased AD dose or the Labetelol for my hypertension or from just having had a baby 2 weeks ago. It's hard to know because it's early days yet, but I've never been very good with being patient with my body or self.

Only 4 more days till my parents get here.

My mother's wishing she could have come earlier. I do, too. But we weren't sure when DS was coming so she bought tickets for when we knew he'd be here - he could have arrived as late as 12 November.

DS doing fab, though!

You sound like you're doing amazingly well. Take each day at a time. I almost used to tick each day off (mentally) and tell myself I was another day closer to feeling 'normal' again.

The tiredness in itself is a killer. I'm the same, when you're usually well and full of energy and happiness, you just want to be normal now! This of course is TOTALLY understandable.

That's great that your Mother is coming soon. How long is she staying for?

Am glad DS is doing well. You sound like you've bonded with him.

The real 'you' is in there, she's just having a little rest right now and she'll pop back out when she's ready x x