How to get on with things without coming to a grinding halt.

[ThreadieKrueger]

I feel this inertia all the time, which means that I seem to need actively and repeatedly to will each step of every task -- or I just come to a halt. Even very simple jobs. I wonder whether this is a feature of depression, or an effect of anti-depressants, or just old age, or something else.

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How long have you felt like this Threadie? So you're on ADs at the moment? It could be a feature of the depression and may mean you're not on quite the best AD for you, or you may need to up the dose a little bit. Lack of motivation to do anything can def. be a symptom of the depression.

Thanks for the reply blessthismess. Always been rather like this but it seems worse. The ADs are partly at fault, I think, because they make me a bit sleepy. The depression too is to blame -- so many distracting thoughts between me and the realities of day-to-day tasks.

But I wonder why it is getting worse. I seem to spend half the day on pause between tasks. I'm not anything like as severely depressed as many people -- I do get washed, dressed, and more or less hang on to daily life. But it is all uphill, and I should be getting so much more done. Every little task seems somehow intimidating, indicting, so I shun it.

i feel like this sometimes.
not sure, and this may be an over simplistic solution. but do you think you could lower your expectations of yourself? and make a star chart for yourself? every task completed means a sticker, and five stickers at theend of the day is something nice for you?
or maybe my suggestion is completely inappropriate?

Well, a list is always a good thing, I suppose. And the ticks against achieved items are like sticky stars. I don't know that I'd need a reward as such: relief from the guilt of not having done the jobs would be a reward in itself I think.

Definitely have days when even something small, like hanging out the washing, seems like a bloody mountain to climb. Other days I could clean the whole house easily! I think a list of tasks does help, and just doingstuff without thinking about it too much iykwim. Somethimes I feel so overwhelmed with something I can't start it, but if I just force myself to start then the actual doing isn't so bad?

I think what you have written is a really good description of depression the way I experience it. I used to have it nearly every day but at the moment it is the odd day here and there (today is one of them). I know I should be doing my list of tedious chores and the longer I don't do them the more anxious I feel about them not being done but the thought of doing them seems painful. Sometimes caffeine helps. Sometimes writing a list works, but I don't write anything til I've actually done it, then I write it and cross it out so I've got a running list of what I HAVE achieved rather than what I haven't. Some days nothing works and the only thing to do is ride it out until it improves a bit.

Coming back to this, I want to say it is definitely not old age! Not when I look at my elderly parents and other older people I know around me who still have a zest for life. I think you should consider this to be a temporary stage of affairs probably for a combination of the depression/sleepiness from the ADs. When are you next due to see your doctor? It would be worth mentioning that this is how you are currently feeling. S/he may be able to change something.

Sorry you're having this trouble, threadie. It has been a problem of mine too.

I know from my own experience as I'm sure you do that the dangerous thing about this inertia is the part it plays in the downward spiral towards feelings of worthlessness: the less you get done the worse you feel about yourself and the less you then feel able to do.

Of course finding a way to break this cycle is the million dollar trick. Part of it I think is to do with accepting that this tendency to be led into murky waters is part of your temperament, and a by-product of the wonderful intelligence that we know as threadie. It is something to be worked with and worked around, but absolutely not something to feel guilty about (easier said than done I know). You perhaps need to draw a line at the end of each day, acknowledge everything that went well, forgive yourself for everything that didn't, and resolve to start afresh the next day.

I do wonder also whether, if you are being plagued by distracting thoughts, you might need to actually take some time out of your daily routine to pay attention to them without feeling guilty. Perhaps a talking cure would be better for you than AD's although I know it is not always possible. If it isn't, would it at least be possible for you to get away for a few days?

Sorry this is all rather muddled and probably not much help. Do mail me if you want to talk though.

IB - that's a brilliant post. I don't know that I can really add to it, but I just wanted to say that yes, I have felt this. It is depression - to feel like simple things are mountains. It's only ever when I look back I realise how hard it was, this is not me, I can put the washing on and ... it is that little black cloud that follows me around sometimes.

I feel like this in cycles. Get on top of the housework, kids in bed/to school on time. Then in about two months it's all broken down and I'm unable to get out of bed on time, do the housework, get to uni, pick the kids up. It's completely crap. But I am beginning to recognise it as a cycle, so I know the 'up' will at least be coming around again one day.

Wow, how's that for uninspiring? Something to look forward to - a day when I can do the housework.

Whoopee fark

PS am on total suicidal downer at mo. It's so blardy depressing, this stage