Orinoco, my Ds's problems were around school also
They started off with a notebook for him to just put a red X if something made him feel bad, he didnt have to explain anything at the time
Then he would come out of school and tell me, I would be suitably outraged and have to explain that everyone's different/families do things different ways etc
It took about a year to fall into place but it has now and although he is still anxious at times, he is confident now and will explain to his teachers if something is bothering him