Those of you who have partners with OCD, please come and talk to me, I have some questions.

[DustyTv]

I have OCD, i have had it for as long as I can remember, other than my GP and my husband (and on here) I have never spoken about it.

It has only been in the last few months that I have began to get myself some help, I have never told anyone before then so have been 'dealing' with it on my own.

I still don't talk about it alot and my DH doesn't talk or ask me about it, but I suspect that is because he doesn't really understand it IYSWIM.

My councelling starts next week.

What I would like to know is;

1. What is it like to live with someone who has OCD.

2. Did you know something was wrong before your partner spoke to you about it.

3. Do you understand it?

4. Does it come between you both?

DH told me last night to just stop doing it, so I know he doesn't understand it.

I would like to see it from his POV so that I can help him to understand it and understand how he feels and hopefuly make him more sympathetic towards me IYSWIM.

hi dusty -lots of luck with your counselling

1. I think it's very hard to live with someone who has OCD - I know my parents put up with a lot with me when I was at home and dh finds it very hard going when I am having a bad time with it
2. yes, I knew something was wrong with me since I was in my early 20s
3. I read a lot about OCD - I didn't know what it was before I started researching and was relieved in a way to find out that other people suffered from the same strange symptoms as me- this was a long time ago now and it was certainly less in the public eye than these days - though of course it existed
4. it comes between us only when it gets bad,which is in a few instances in my life these days. When I was in my early twenties and then again in my thirties it was spectacularly bad, now it is more or less under some control and only impinges on my life in certain situations..

dusty - I'd also recommend CBT and medication,really it's the only thing that works and I've been through years of psychotherapy/analysis and had hypnotherapy...the CBT was by far the best outcome.

Do you get unbelievably (SP?) frustrated and angry with yourself? I do, so much so that it had reduced me to tears yet I cannot stop it.

yes, because I can see that it's so pointless..the rituals etc.
Did you read this thread here might be interesting and helpful.

Yes I get angry with myself Dusty. This week I was very worried about my mum as she had been rushed into hospital. I told myself that I was not allowed to eat for 48 hours because if I ate anything my mum would take a turn for the worse. On the second day I forgot and I ate one small chunk of melon, I then rushed up to the bathroom and stuck my fingers down my throat. I was very angry with myself but I didn't feel I had a choice.

Dusty, i have quickly skimmed through this again - you say that mostly your DP understands. Do you think he was just having a rough night? Lost his patience, because we do have accept that this must be extremely trying for our partners. I really don't think you can "get" something unless you have been through it, you get it more than most of course if you live with someone who has it - but often my thougths are so irrational - i went through a stage where i woudlnt eat lamb chops because we had lamb chops the night DD had to go to hospital for suspected strep B infection. I don't know why this stuck in my mind the next few times we had them, i was so uptight we ended up rowing - i blamed the lamb chops . I don't know how i can get my partner to understand that - I am an intelligent, educated person, but im petrified of picket fences

I suffered mildly from OCD...I know your getting councelling but this book was a godsend for me.

Sorry no other help, but you have my sympathy.

Dusty, Morticia was one of those who was SO helpful to me when my dd was ill. I agree that CBT and medication is the way to go, not touchy feely counselling.

gosh,thanks phantasmagoria - hope dd is very much better

hi, my dh has ocd he says he's had it since he was at school. which must be over 10 years and last month he finally went to the drs and asked for help. it got too much as he has anxiety and PTSD aswell (from my sons birth a year ago)....anyway i dont know much about it, he doesn't show it to me much (we've been married 6 years and i've only found out!) its all in his head i think, he says he counts in 3's and things like that and everything has to be in order his desk at work is seemingly in order of size etc but at home i dont really see it apart from things having to face the right way.. he used to wear a chain his parents bought him when the got back together (they split up for 3 years when he was 15). which he never took off...ever...it stayed on till this year when he finally took it off so im assuming it may have had something to do with it as well? he's not into being tidy/clean like i've seen on ocd programmes.
I dont understand it, it frustrates me, i dont understand why he can't just stop it, rationalise it? does that make sense? we are not sure what sort of level it is im assuming its mild given i never really knew about it he's been referred to the consultant pyscologist but the waiting list is long so no idea when he'll get an appointment so we are just waiting....

My counsellor did some CBT work with me, I cannot beleive how quick and easy it is, I am not 100% but I haven't had any bout of OCD since Monday when I went to see him.

I feel free

that's great dusty !! I think I may see the doc about being referred for a top up...is many yrs since I had any and it was very effective.