I started counselling 2 weeks ago in an attempt to deal with my depression. Basically, ever since ds was born (now 17 months old) I've found adjusting to having 2 kids really difficult. Up until now, dh & I have patched things up when I got really down - trip to New York alone, he's taken time off work to help out & give me time alone. But we both decided that we needed to sort things out properly this time. His employers provide access to a counselling service, and we decided that this would be a definite step in the right direction.
I have not ever found ds an easy child - he is the complete opposite of his sister, who in retrospect was a piece of p*! My biggest problem with him is his hair-pulling. From about 4 months he pulled my hair, then as he got more mobile he started pulling any hair he could get his hands on. Now he only pulls dd's, to the extent that she has bald patches on the top of her head! I've sought advice from all over the place about what to do with him, but he persisits.
Today, I spent a whole hour talking to my counsellor about ds's hair pulling. Whilst this is a problem, it is not the sole reason (I think) for my depression. I'm just fed up of being a mum & frustrated with this. I've lost all my confidence since becoming a parent, I find it really hard to talk to anyone about how I'm feeling & am basically a complete mess inside. A today a man who I thought would start to make me better about myself and help me work through my problems, has made me feel like a terrible mother because my son continues to pull his sister's hair! Inside I was screaming at him "It's not all about them, what about me!"
So is all this really worth it! I feel like I've hit a brick wall.