Lonely and dh never at home

[flubber]

My dh thinks I'm being silly. We have just moved to this area and I've got no friends to talk to and just go out and about. I work on weekend just to feel apart of the world, but during the week I get so lonely there is only so much housework and walking to the park with dd you can do to keep you entertained. He doesnt understand while his life carries on, working, going to gym, playing rugby and only coming home after 9pm that I get lonely. I rally dont know what to do. I go to toddlers group on Fridays with my dd but that's only 1 1/2 hours a week of outside life. Can anyone give me advise on what to do and where to go in Cambridge/ Cherry Hinton?...,

No, I'll do that. Thank you.

Oh I so know how you feel! I gave up my job and moved away from family and friends when my husbands job moved down south. It was so wierd to know that I wasnt going to see anyone I know because i didnt know anyone!! That was some time ago and there has been a lot of water under the bridge and I dont think we would ever move back now.It does take a while as true friendships take time to build. I also found the people here much more reserved than I was used to which has and still is hard at times but I have just about got used to it now!!You are right that not much changes for DH and their life just seems to carry on as before. It is a help that you have your DD. Would you feel confident asking another Mum for coffee or to meet at the park when you go?You should also insist that your DH gives you time to do the things you enjoy too so you can go out to gym/shopping/whatever you want and leave him to look after DD. HTH. Things will improve I am sure but I totally sympathise with your situation. Good Luck!

he should be coming home before 9pm, he should not be getting himself to rugby and the gym every night while you do everything on your own. YOu're not being silly, he's being selfish

I'm really shy and have ask some mothers out for coffee but things never happen. I guess like you said coochybottom it takes time.
I have spoken to dh but he's still moaning, it' probely one of those things that will make or break us.
Thamk you, at least I dont feel alone in this loneliness.

Can you try and get your DH to look after your DD so you can escape and get some "me" time? I remember my hubby being really selfish after the birth of our first son. Eventually he realised this but it took a while. When our twins came along he was great and it was if he had finally grown up!When your DD starts playgroup/nursey you will also be able to get some time to yourself. I know I go insane if I cant escape from my brood sometimes[hubby inc].Hope things improve.Dont let it break you. Tell him he has to make it work too.

Hi Flubber, I just wanted to let you know that you really are NOT alone in your situation. When my boy was 11 months we moved from city centre to tiny welsh village and i would go weeks without seeing another soul. It took me 9 months (the full length of my 2nd pregnancy) to find the courage to go to the local playgroup. I can be painfully shy too but its worth putting the time into playgroups as you can find some fab friends. As a result, i've got some lovely friends and 1 in particular who not only is like a rock to me but has helped me lose weight, become a better mum etc etc. I go to the same group twice a week and dread ever having to miss one now.

Oh, playbarns/playcentres are good too(they have silly names liek Jumping Jacks, jolly jungle, blue bears etc etc), I'm sure you'll have some near you. Again, you have to put the time in and its a bit like dating all over again but you are likely to meet other mums or even grannies you get on with.

Don't ever give up trying to find new friends, its good for you and especially good for the kids.

I'm sorry to read that your other half isn't very attentive to you. Again i understand this. My fella barely acknowledges my existance some days, even though i'm heavily pregnant with our 3rd baby. At least you know that you have greater control over the running of day to day life and the upbringing of your child. My 2 enjoy the company of my friends and family more because they have made huge sacrifices to be near us and have the time with the kids. i hate to be smug (i know i shouldn't say this) my little boy obviously doesn't enjoy being with my partners family because he hardly ever sees them, they only live a short way away but can't be bothered making time for us. My kids and i aren't missing out on anything, its the partners family that are missing out seeing the kids growing up.

Good luck and happiness to you and your baby.