I am feeling terrible at the moment

[susia]

Hi, I feeling awful. I am a single parent of a lovely 5 year old. For the last five years I have muddled through. Sometimes great, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Recently feel awful. My mum who I adore is having a heart operation. I feel trapped and hate my job, my collegeuges are miserable and so am I. I feel trapped because I have no social life, I am the only one looking after my son so can hardly ever go out. Mostly my friends never want to go out as they are happily married and if/when they do I have no babysitter or can't afford it.

I am sick of being on my own, I sit and use my computer every night and smoke loads. I am sick of everything. If it wasn't for my lovely son and my parents I wouldnt want to be alive anymore. Or else I would take myself off somewhere, go around the world, anything.

But it seems so pointless and no way of changing anything

XXXX Susia,it is VERY hard being a single parent,I was an "Honarary" SP when dp was hospitalised for several months last year and boy is it hard.You have done it for 5 years and I bet your ds is happy he has such a lovely mummy.xx.

When does your mum have her op?That must be worrying for you,but remember that the huge percentage of operations are sucessful and your mum will feel much better after.

Is there any way you could try a differentjob at all if it is making you miserable?(hard when you are an LP I know,but what would you WANT to do?)

Could your Dad babysit for a night (if mum can't) to give you a break?

I am sorry if I sound nosy but do you think you are depressed?Do you feel able to see your GP and tell them how you are feeling?I took ADs when dp got sick as I was struggling to cope with it all and they did help,even though at the time I felt silly telling the GP.sENDING YOU HUGS XXX

I think I am depressed. It has all got too much recently. My dad can't help, he's too old and stuck in his ways too. My mum has her operation tomorrow. My brother is completely selfish and never helps. I feel like a prisoner stuck in the house. I feel completely trapped by everything. I am scared of tacking antidepressants as I dont want to put on weight!

Please see your GP xx

Even if you don't have ADs maybe they can offer some counselling?TBH the ad killed my appetite if anything.Was on Prozac and it took a couple of weeks to start working.Do you have a friend that could babysit ds for an evening?What about local lone parent groups?

I am sure your Mums op will go OK,obviously this must be an additional worry for you xxIcan relate to the stuck in the house thing.Is your ds at school?Could you get out during the day and do something for YOu?

I wish I could get out. I work whenever my son is at school, then at home. That's it really. I do have a couple of friends who I've started to do babysitting swaps with but they are the ones I would go out with!

I do need AD, I am always trying to lose weight and stop smoking but never suceeding in either. I worry that taking aD will make me put on weight but may try.

my gp did prescribe some but I cant remember what they were as I never took them.

I do need something else, because my life is crap at the moment. Thankyou for replying

Susia,I am sure you are doing a great job as a mum.xx Could you go out with 1 friend ansd get the other to babysit?

Re smoking/weight loss,don't try to do it all at once,try 1 at a time.Its hard but you WILL do it if you really want (ex cig addict hereHave you tried your local NHS quit service?Itsd really difficult but youll fell better,and richer

Hope your mums op goes OK.

Please see Gp about how you are feeling xx

Must go to bed now,but good luck,let usknow how you get on.

Hugs xx

Of course you should take the ADs - the Doc would not offer them if you didn't need them. FACT - You cannot lose weight and stop smoking simultaneously. You can only do one thing at a time. The ADs should not make you put on weight - in my case they took away the urge for comfort eating in the night. We had no AD's when I was a young mum, at best you were given tranquillisers (sp?) which were hopeless just left you sleepy and couldn't care less. I am on them now and have endless patience and really enjoy my time with my DGCs. I so wish they had been available when I needed them as a very young mum.

I was never a single parent but DH worked most evenings and I was stuck at home with the 2DDs, so lonely when they went to bed. But I came up with a couple of ideas. One was to have another mum come for a 'sleepover' with her DD every so often. After fun shared bath and bedtime for the girls, we could relax with a bottle of wine and chat till yawn time. The other was to enjoy quality playtime with my DDs, outdoors in summer, between tea time and their bedtime and then have a task for each evening (paperwork, ironing, cooking/baking, Learning Spanish, whatever needs doing or you fancy) and then there was just an hour left for TV and my bedtime. All tasks done at night, including on-line shopping, leaves you free to meet friends at lunchtime, weekends or afterschool. But you'll need the AD's to kick in first before you feel able to make any changes.
Hope your mum recovers speedily and life improves for you.