confused just need to get this off my chest

[wornoutbyarguing]

i have been going thru a particularly bad patch of deppression,been seeing a counsellor and take ads.
last week i had a really rough few days and thought about killing myself didnt tell anyone but was really haunted by the impulse to do it.eventually i broke down and my 18 year old son was an angel to me ,just telling someone made me feel so much better,
have seen my counsellor and gp about this and will be getting some extra support and change of ads,
the most awfull thing about this was i text my husband after i spoke to my son and told him how awfull i felt and how bad i was feeling and he was dont worry will help you thru thu this and do all i can.
but about 9.30 buggered off to play in his band at a pub ,i have never asked him to stay at home and help me with the 5 and 7 year old littles ones ,but he just went.

he has been suportive since but just needed him to be there at that moment its eating me up.he knew how low i was he went out again friday nite .

my gp and counsellor were really shocked about just going out .i feel so pissed off today with him ,its not that he doesnt understand how bad i am just less important than going to the pub..

i feel really neglected by this hurtfull behaviour ,he makes excuse s to go out all the time,, sorry just need to get it off my chest ,incase i explode

Hi wornoutbyarguing,

I know how you feel. We have a 5 month old baby, and my DP does nothing to help. I am exhausted, and he still expects his dinner on the table despite me running around all day to get stuff done. Have just posted on another thread how all i wish for now is for him to look after DS for maybe an hour so I can relax in a bath. (any thoughts of a treat for me beyond that are long gone...don't even want to be so greedy as to want to leave the house and get my hair cut)

I think one of the main things is that men just don't realise when we need their help. And of course we don't want to have to spell it out to them... I think sometimes that they should just KNOW, but sadly, they never do.

This may not be much help, but please know that you are not alone in these feelings.