Hello
My feelings are probably very similar to lots of others on here but I just wanted to get it out to try to give clarity to how I feel myself. I have three DS's - all gorgeous, lively but wonderful. The youngest is 16 months, a great sleeper and adorable in every way despite the whinging! DH is very supportive but has a stressful job, which he handles well, but necessitates him being away frequently. For the past year he was only home at W/E's but we have just moved to a new area, 6 hours away from my old home so we can all be together. We live abroad, I moved here 7 years ago and have not worked since I had first child 6 years ago. I use to have a very full on job in the City and miss this immensely but cannot find a job in the industry here and even other jobs that are accessible (and they are very few and far betwwen) won't consider me as my DH has to move about very frequently with his job and I am a foreigner. I think the move last month has really knocked me for six. I have no friends here yet, normal I know but I miss my old friend dearly. My BF lost her daughter last year in an horrific accident and I worry about her so very much as she is so very guilt ridden. Then I feel bad and selfcentred for even feeling down when she has so very much to cope with. I have joined a gym and work out when I can and find this helps enormously but I just can't help feeling desperately unhappy. I have everyhting to be happy about, but just think is 'this it'. I feel a crap mother, I spend any spare time on the internet and just cry and cry. I don't know where the old 'me' went and the new version is rubbish at everything. Sorry for such a self absorbed posting but just had to get it off my chest.