ok, no-one told me that this would be hard.
she says my anxiety is on level 5, the highest, regarding driving!!
and she says that I have boxed up my very first accident (I had one when I was pregnant with DS1), then added to the box the second accident, and then the third accident confirmed to me that all drivers are bad and the box overflowed.
and now I have to re-live each accident to be able to assess them and be able to move on.
she has warned me that it will be harder before it gets better........and that the next few days might find me very very tearful
She has promised me tho, that the fact that I am driving, even tho I am anxious, is 100% proof of how much I want to change and that I can be fixed.
oh, and all my feelings are all normal and expected for PTSD. ((see, I am normal)).
but the over riding feeling is one of fear right now....I am ready to get mended, but not to relive the crashes and disect (sp?) them. that scares me......
ooh, she also wants me to take in a cassette tape so she can record relaxtion excersises.....I have to do them twice a day however hard, and also do homework too (I knew about the homework).
sooooooooooooooo
yay and