Can anyone tell me why I'm getting these awful dreams? I'm so tired I can barely think. :-(

[RaspberrySwirl]

Have namechanged for this.

For the past couple of nights I've been having these terrible dreams about my parents. Firstly I dreamed I was looking for my mum, who was looking after ds, and it was a weird post-apocalyptic dream (I get these a LOT) and then I found her in the bus station, but she was all diseased, and her face was all warped. I woke up gasping and couldn't get the image of her distorted face out of my head.

Then last night I was in my parents' house, and my mum was downstairs washing up, and I knew that some awful accident had happened to my dad (there was other horrible stuff before this, something to do with climbing through a Tube station up a ship's ladder, trying to escape some nameless horror, with ds on my back) and I went up to see him, he was in my brother's old bedroom, and again his face was warped, and he looked really old, and one of his arms was obviously paralysed, and hung next to his body. The room smelled of old semen. I went to kiss him on the cheek, and his other arm grabbed my arse and held me really tight, and he said, "Would you, would you do it for me?" and I pushed him away and then he just started masturbating furiously. I feel really sick thinking about it.

I couldn't sleep after that - I've just been lying awake since about half 3, dh woke up briefly and asked why I couldn't sleep, so I told him I'd had a bad dream and he tried to cuddle me, but I couldn't bear to be restricted at that point (it reminded me of the dream) and dh is quite a big guy and because he was sleepy he was all heavy and hot on me.

I am pregnant at the moment, and I'm wondering if that's why I'm getting bad dreams. I've also used hallucinogens, and MDMA in the past (a long time ago now - ds is 20 months and i stopped a while before I got pg with him!!) and have a history of marijuana abuse.

There's a lot there that could be to blame for bad dreams, isn't there? My past is somewhat chequered. But although I've had nightmares in the past they've always been to do with actual past events, stuff that's happened. I was never abused by my dad. Nor has my mother ever had a disfiguring disease! I don't know why this stuff's in my head. I guess I just want some coping mechanisms, ways to get back to sleep. I'm so tired - if it's not ds or dh keeping me awake it's my own head! Feel all ganged up on. I'm wondering whether to speak to my GP about it.

Sorry for the long ramble.

ive had lots of nighmares like this before... some of them you wake up from and are so haunting they never really leave you...

personally, i wouldnt try to attach too much significance to the actual content... i think it sounds like stress, anxiety, poss aggravated by pg hormones. i really dont think its anything more serious than that... upsetting as they are

i think you now worrying that the dreams are a consequence of past recreational drug use is only going to add to any anxiety and actually, even if it were a factor, theres nowt worrying about it now will do for you is there? if it helps i have taken many a mind altering substance for a fair period of time in my past, and im not getting these dreams now.

being over tired, its easy for you to feel worse about these upsetting things than you would do if you were rested and had some perspective from time... give it time, try to make peace with it, try to let them go.

at least, thats what i have done with my horror-dreams.

hope you feel better soon!

i get horrible vivid dreams when i'm pregnant.
in my worst dream ever i dreamt that i confused my new baby with a leg of gammon. made myself a sandwich and couldn't find the baby. realised i'd eaten the baby and would have to raise an ugly unlovable leg of gammon (which had a mouth).

it's pregnancy dreams. try not to worry.

this is quite an intersting site about dreams

SmartArse (love the name! ) thanks for your post. The reason I mentioned about the recreational drug use is because the last time I took hallucinogens it was magic mushrooms. But they were really strong Mexican or Amazonian ones - not liberty caps. You could see the blue veins of psilocybin running through them and I had a mad experience on them. Proper, full on plane of consciousness stuff. I was above the earth and I could see all the sparks of peoples' minds - some were brighter than others. I could see how we were all connected, and I felt like I understood some universal truths that had escaped me all my life.

I know I sound really mad talking about it now - it was pretty scary at the time, but I also felt at peace with myself. As if, if this was how I was going to go mad or die (even though in a still-lucid part of my brain I knew on an academic level that it's not possible to overdose on Psilocybin) then it was ok.

I've not touched "hard" drugs since then - had the occasional spliff here and there - as I felt it would be redundant. I'd never get that feeling back again - and if I could I'm not sure I'd want to. I'm wondering if the Psilocybin somehow altered my brain chemistry, but then if it did, why would it be coming out now? Maybe the combination of that and pg hormones has done something? But then why didn't I get it when I was pg with ds?

Argh! Talk about over-analysing!

Dragon - I had pg dreams with ds. I remember dreaming that I'd given birth to 2 tiny kitten twins, and I was trying to breastfeed them but they were too tiny, they would only fit in the palm of my hand, and my mother was standing over me criticising.

I dream about my parents a lot - i've just realised this. Wonder what Freud would have to say about that...

Hmm - that site is a bit fluffy. I was hoping for more...I dunno. Psychoanalytical stuff? Perhaps I just read too much.

Have I scared everyone off with my stream of consciousness posts?

Being pregnant can make you dream more as your sleep can be more uncomfortable etc. Also, for a whole heap of reasons you have more to think about and tick over in your head - combined with your hormones, it is an emotionally challenging time. I saw my pregnancy as a bit of a crossroads "life" type event too and spent a lot of time thinking about my role in everything and the changing role of my parents/me/my children.
I am no expert and talking off the top of my head, but all your dreams sound to me like worry/responsibility/changing role dreams - searching for your mum, changing role of your father, seeing them in different lights, mortality, fear, separation, illness etc - all really normal ways of expressing and experiencing how we change/balance this crazy role of being a parent and yet also having parents, accepting and realising new responsibilities etc.
Does any of that make any sense or am I talking out of my arse?! no idea

Ah yes, pregancy dreams ...
I constantly dreamed that I had to take a tablet to keep my baby inside of me ... and a few times even woke up rummaging through the medicine cabinet
Raspberryswirl ... you are clearly concerned for your parents in some way (on top of the crazy hormonal madness) ... have you spoken to them or can you go and see them to set your mind at rest that they aren't falling to bits and doing strange things?

I'm going to see them today - and I know I am worried about them. My dad is still very poorly from an op he had a few years ago - although he seems to be getting better. His behaviour has been getting increasingly odd though - he suffers with epilepsy and i wonder if it's linked with his meds.

Lemontart - your post does make sense, but this is my 2nd pregnancy, and although i had some odd dreams with ds, i never had these awful nightmares that i'm having with this one. I know each pregnancy is different though, and I'm a lot more tired. Perhaps my defences are down in my head - my subconscious is taking over more? Does that make sense?

all pregnancies are def different .. im on my fourth and none of them have been the same. I def think there could be a connection between the dreams you are having and the fact that you are pregnant and that your father has been ill, after my father had a heartattck earlier this year i had some very strange random dreams about him and still do.

Last night i dreamt i was in some sort of "last stand" situation, which involved me moving a lot of furniture around a nightclub whilst a mad chinese man was preparing to storm the building. Also for some reason my BIL was asleep in a bed whilst i was moving the stuf around. The stuff i moved around didnt seem to have any relevance or effect on anything so eventually i stopped just in time to realise i was too late to escape and the mad chinese man stormed the building and killed me with a machete (sp) while my BIL slept on

The night before that i dreamt that woody harrleson was stalking me and eventually killed me

i dont think im a particularly paranoid person (i have also taken a fair few drugs in my youth but i dont think that altered my perceptions now). But i deffinately dream a different way when im pregnant.

Sorry for ramble hope it makes sense

well the one with woody harrleson i think i remember being suffocated. The mad chinese man macheted (sp) me. i wake up because ive been killed if you see what i mean .. it all kind of goes dark like at the end of a film. Not a pleasant feeling!