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Original poster

feeling down to not wanting to admit to it

70 replies

rathernotsay · 20/02/2005 12:11

Posting under a different name as I'd rather people didn't know it was me.

For the last few weeks I've been feeling really low. Have trouble sleeping, getting upset over nothing in particular, worrying about silly little things and seem to have lost a lot of confidence, although I've never been very confident anyhow.

I did the online Edinburgh test last night and scored 16 on it. And I guess if I'm really honest with myself I am feeling quite depressed. However, when ever I tell myself that I'm depressed and should tell someone, a little voice in my head turns round and tells me not to be silly and there's nothing wrong just having an off day. Have done this in the past too when I've not been feeling happy with life.

Do you think I could be depressed, or am I just imagining it and creating illusions in my mind. Really confused

OP posts:
Lonelymum · 21/02/2005 13:59

" o'clock! Come on the time is right!

Lonelymum · 21/02/2005 13:59

BUM meant to write 2

LGJ · 21/02/2005 14:00

Is empty the key word here ?? Are you running on empty, do you need a break, is there any one who could take the kids for a few hours.

You do appear to have a lot going on at the moment, how much longer before DH's business is up and running ??

Not trying to be patronising and what I am about to say might sound a bit simplistic, but are you in a postion to wrap the kids up and take them for a brisk walk ??

The endorphins will make you feel better, added to which, it is so bloody cold you wont have time to think. Sometimes at the tail end of a bad weather weekend I find that I feel as though the house is in danger of becoming my prison and it only serves to make me feel put upon for the want of a better word. So maybe getting out would help.

If the above is total drivel feel free to ignore it

wonkydonky · 21/02/2005 14:03

LGJ - couldn't agree with you more. I love a walk out with DD to escape our house. We moved in here when I was 8 months pregnant and it isn't decorated to my taste. This adds to my low feelings as i am affected by my surroundings.

Gwenick - BIG HUG for you

Gwenick · 21/02/2005 14:06

I do feel like I'm running on empty - but DH looked after the kids most of the weekend and I went out on my own. Last week was half term but even when it was cold we still went out for walks, town etc etc. And I took the long route back from nursery after lunch too - which was only 1hr ago. And I'll be going out again in about 50 minutes to pick DS1 up.

DH's business - TBH I don't know, I've not even asked him about it properly for weeks, I just haven't felt the inclination, despite the fact that he's been helping more with the kids than ever before.

It was snowing here a bit this morning, and I love the snow, like to stand outside (wrapped up of course) while it's falling - tried that and didn't make me feel any different.

I know I should make the phonecall but, and this is going to sound really stupid, I'm scared to

LGJ · 21/02/2005 14:09

Gwenick make that call

FairyMum · 21/02/2005 14:10

Haven't read all the posts, but just wanted to say that I suffered from PND when I had DD and IME I only realised how low I was looking back on it afterwards. So if you feel like you need help, you should try to get it! I never did, but regret trying to cope all by myself now.

LGJ · 21/02/2005 14:15

What did the surgery say ??

jillyjo · 21/02/2005 14:32

can so relate to all this. dd home from nursery and asleep ( thankfully) ds sofar today dropped phone in toilet, destroyed my work material and found drinking toilet water from the loo!!! I think I'm definately suffering from mild depression as I would give anything for a one way ticket to Australia for about 6 months. I cannot understand women who say they love being at home all day and adore their kids all the time. I'm I abnormal? I feel that the bad times outweight the good times and I wonder if I could turn back time if I still would have kids. Can anyone relate to this or am I relly ill?

LGJ · 21/02/2005 14:32

Gwenick..... at top pitch worthy of a fishwife

I know you can hear me...............

Don't ignore me, I am not used to being ignored

Come on honey make the call, that is going to be the hardest part.

It is unfortunate that you got the bitch troll from hell at the surgery, but by not calling back you are allowing a faceless, nameless, individual determine how you feel.

Make that call

LGJ · 21/02/2005 14:35

Thye don't call me the rottweiler for nothing...I am not going to go away,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Gwenick · 21/02/2005 14:37

god your worse than my mother - ok I'll go make the call but got to give DS2 his milk first.......

LGJ · 21/02/2005 14:41

Right you can have half an hour respite, I have set the alarm on my PC and don't think I wont start up again. I learnt how to wear people down from a pro, he is 3.5

Gwenick · 21/02/2005 14:51

ok - you can switch the alarm off, called - got the nicer receptionist thank god, got an appointment for 10am Thursday morning, now I just need to figure out who can look after the boys for 1hr so I don't have to take them with me.

LGJ · 21/02/2005 14:54

Glad to hear it

Good luck.

Much love

LGJ

xxxxxxx

Gwenick · 21/02/2005 14:58

Thanks

purpleturtle · 21/02/2005 15:04

Well done, Gwenick! Would it be worth trying to write a few notes to take with you on Thursday, so that you don't forget to mention something?

The first time I went to the GP with depression I just cried. kind of left it to him to make the diagnosis from that really!

It's okay to be depressed. You haven't failed, you aren't failing, and you won't fail. But IME life can creep on you sometimes to the point of overwhelming you, and if you're the mother of a pre-schooler or two, you may not have the opportunity that others get to recover from stuff - because your time is just not your own. Take the help you're offered; you'll soon be enjoying your children again. Honest. I do

Lonelymum · 21/02/2005 15:43

Well done Gwenick. You have taken the first step and that is the hardest one.

jangly · 21/02/2005 17:02

Glad you got an appointment Gwenick. Good luck for Thursday.

You gonna give it a go too, Jillijo?

jillyjo · 21/02/2005 18:31

Hi Jangly, I'm starting St johns wart first as I'm terrified of taking anti depressants. The only thing I really enjoy at the momment is my wee part time job as I'm away from the kids. I sometimes think I must be a monster but hey ho....
Glad I'm not the only one. Will give it 3 weeks if not will call doc

Gwenick · 21/02/2005 18:52

Thanks everyone, sounds silly I know but I'm really nervous about it, scared of making an idiot of myself. Haven't told DH, mind we're not on speaking terms as I was a git to him last night before bedtime and he leaves before I get up.........he's home and downstairs with the boys but we haven't said a word yet.

purpleturtle · 21/02/2005 19:05

Oh Gwenick, please go and make up with him. You need all the support you can find, and he's got to be first port of call.

Gwenick · 21/02/2005 19:09

Thing is, as I mentioned somewhere in my waffle below I don't think he'd really understand, just doesn't 'get' depression. He'd probably just give me a pat on the back, make me a coffee and not see the point in the Dr.s appointment. I don't really do talking about emotions - well at least not anything that's below the 'ok' level - even with him I just shut it in a box and pretend everythings ok.

LGJ · 21/02/2005 19:16

jillyjo

I wasn't ignoring you earlier,well ok, technically I was, but it was taking me all my time and energy to get Little Miss Stubborn to make the appointment and I was in work Sorry.

jangly · 22/02/2005 09:56

Jillyjo - St Johns Wort is a good idea. Let us know how you get on.