lastnight i had a crisis it didnt end well and now mum knows everything

[CvQ]

i had a bad episode lastnight.i was desperate and really neededto call my crisis team.i cut myself before they came.id held on fortoo long an dit got too bad.i finally woke my mother up and she obviously freaked out.understandable but didnt help me much.
id already called so had to tell her someone was coming but that they would explain things to her.i know i did the right thing at the time but if this is brought against me at any point i dont know what ill do.i needed to help myself and be helped.im rattling on now.im so tired and my mind is all over the place.sorry if this doesnt make much sense

Oh Sweetie, It will all work out in the end, I'm sure. She freaked she is shocked because she cares. She will need to work throught this as much as you do.

Take care
xx

shes been very quiet this morning and dont know what shes thinking.i am not able to support her when im not 100% myself.i needed help but now i cant help feeling ive done the wrong thing and this could all backfire on me.if she thought i wasnt coping well before then god knows what she thinking now.i dont want her to think badly of me.i cant talk to her properly about this yet.

She is probably feeling guilty that she didn't realise you weren't coping as she thought. See it as a good thing, no more secrets. You are doing great xx

She was never keen on your course of action in the first place and because you dont see her everyday she maybe doesnt really know how bad you feel ocassionally. She needs time to digest and deal with this new(to her) information.

yes it will be difficult for you both for a while but you can work through this.
Perhaps one of you needs take J for a walk to allow the other a bit of time.

CvQ your mum will not be thinking badly of you, she will most likely be feeling guilty and sad that she can't help you.

Please don't feel it is your responsibility to make sure she is alright, as you said, you cannot support her when you are not 100% yourself. You need to focus on yourself and your mu is there to support you.

I really hope you get through this.

lastnight i wanted to just cut myself up(sorry for saying it)but today i feel i need to hide.im ashamed my mother saw saw me how she did lastnightive worked sohard to try and rebuild things with her which has been so hard.now i feel theres a wall up again.all i want/need is to be accepted fully by her.but i think ive screwed it up.

cvq: Tell her exactly what you have told us in your last post. She is you Mum she loves you so much, that is why she is there with you.

im so scared of being rejected again i dont want to say the wrong thing

oh CVQ I wish I could tell you what is going on in your mums mind.

She loves you she has proved that by sleeping on your sofa instead of in her nice comfy bed. Say what you need to tell her and then give her time to digest it. I bet her head is spinning too!

cvq : I am sorry but I have to go, I am off on holiday today and need to pack.

I will be thinking of you and hope you can come through this blip stronger than before.

Take care, MN is always here for you.