Struggling to cope, what can i do?

[Donbean]

Having waited so long for my baby i had not anticipated just how hard it is.
From day dot he has been hard hard work. From feeding hourly for the first couple of months. Inability to sleep for more than 2/3 hours at a time at night. I have got him settled and he has been sleeping through the night for about 2 weeks now (he is 19 months old)
Within these two weeks in the day he has been clingy, whinging and crying allot.He has croup.
I have been having the best sleep that i have had in nearly 2 years and i still feel exhausted.
Now he has become a toddler i am finding it very very difficult to cope with his behaviour and his distructive streak.
He doesnt have ADAH or any thing like that in fact he is perfectly normal, i just loose it in a big way.
We have moved every thing out of reach, our tall book cupbourd resembles a second hand shop, crammed with the phone, notepad, pot of pens, nappy cream, nappy bags candles, quite simply we have had to move every thing from his sight and reach. Today he grabbed my diary from a little telephone table (tucked away between two chairs and the setee) and knocked a full boiling hot cup of coffee all over the floor the proceeded to paddle in it.
I wanted to throw him through the window and i yelled at the top of my lungs "naughty boy" his lip curled up and he broke his heart.
These incidents are happening more and more now.
Im fed up with not bieng able to find any thing because it has had to be shoved away, im fed up with telling him over and over again to stop doing this or stop doing that.Im fed up of the mess and never ever bieng able to get on with any thing.
I waited so long for him, he is the most precious thing in my whole life and i adore him.
I need you to put it all in perspective, tell me to shut up moaning and to get on with it. I just need to natter about the whole thing please?

Thanks Nailpolish and thanks for your words of wisdom yesterday and the day before, i appreciate it x

what amazes me is how bad off i used to think i was when i worked because i didnt get back until 7 some nights and then had to do all the housework plus looking after ds, doing my tea, having a bath etc. when sahms tried to tell me they had had a busy day i just couldnt understand it. i do now though, my baby is at that stage where shes after everything and wont let me out of her sight either. there is no way that i can get anything done, she wont even let me go into the kitchen to make her food at the moment. i have a playpen so at least i know shes safe if i have to nip upstairs but the screaming....im not kidding when i say the upstairs of my house hasnt been cleaned or even tidied that well for weeks. shes in my room too so i cant even get away with it when she's asleep. basically, the downstairs gets cleaned after 10pm every night. (actually, thinking about it i got more done when i was working). my only saviour is her brother because when he comes home from school at least the screaming stops and i can go to cook some tea! im sure noone thinks you are having a "silly moan" at all. its hard work looking after a little one...i moan constantly about it! this year has shown me actually what an idiot i was when it came to sahm's....i just never realised how much they did.