Has anyone managed to break the depression/bad lifestyle cycle? I'm looking for advice.

[clutteredup]

DD2 is 18mo and I feel like I've just started to crawl out from under a mushy haze mainly due to DH now working near home again. As a result of the last 18 months, having 3 DC at home on my own most of the time and DH being stressed with work, DD2 not sleeping, I have put on 1 1/2 stones in weight and do no exercise and manage on a very base level to keep the DC fed, clothed and to school and back. DS, 7 yo, has not improved at school at all this year and I know this is my fault for not being there to support his school work and DD1 is constantly whining for attention as I can't give them all the attention they need.
Anyway I know that if I exercised more and ate better that I would feel less down and get more done - the thing is it sounds easy but I'm so tired all the time I can't get motivated to exercise and when I feel down I eat badly and eat the wrong things.
I was wondering if anyone else had been here and managed to break the cycle successfully so they can tell me how they started. I just can't seem to make the first move, I try and then give up half way through the day.
TIA

I do but have never been aware of full life doctor records.

Off to do a bit more now. Did some earlier on and I always feel sad when I find relevant things. Feels like a kick in the teeth.

Do you feel any better for having tackled the mountain, as it were? Well done for getting stuck into it. All this is steps towards leaving the past behind and getting on with today, in the hope of a better tomorrow, Itati.

No. I feel embarrassed about all the boyfriend stuff, sad it didn't work out with him and I felt for a long time it was unfinished business, and I still have loads to do.

Lovely words, fmv.

Poor you itati it must be really hard, how are you doing today? dredging up the past always brings all the feeling with it too but as FMV said it will help in the long term so you have to just keep thinking on the positive side. You should try not to dwell too much on things you feel embarrassed about from the past, it only makes you feel worse and you just have to try and think of the present and the future. As FMV has said before think of the positive things in you life now and things you can say you are proud of. I've been trying and it is starting to help. I've been involved in a long term project which is about to come to fruition, I had a lot of help from a lot of people but i was the instigator and although i feel that i can't take much of the credit for the work that has been done - as DH said it wouldn't have happened at all without my instigation, and I'm just starting now to allow wyself to feel proud of that. i fond it hard to congratualte myself on things and take criticism of me to heart a lot. i always look to others to validate me and actually i've realised its me who needs to validate me. I feel selfish in being proud of myself but on MN I can admit that quietly I am [small imperceptible smile so no one else can see]
Thanks FMV and I'll try the snacks today my blood sugar levels seem to be easing off a bit it was probably biscuit withdrawal, but I am doing better about not gorging myself on junk and it does seem to be helping. I would like to lose some weight but for now I'll just try to stick to eating healthily rather than weight loss otherwise I'll be disappopinted when I haven't lost any weight. At least this way I shouldn't carry on putting on weight.
The next goal is exercise, now I'm eating less junk I feel a bit more postitive about the exercise. I'll try and plan a regular walk with the DC everyday in the holidays - they'll get used to it after a while as well and they enoy going to new places so I'll look for some nice country walks to do with them.
Thanks for your support FMV it really has helped not doing this all on my own.

clutteredup - you sound like you're really doing brilliantly!

Can you find a little way to reward yourself for your hard work this week? (try and think of something for you)

The absolute best way to lose weight is to eat a balanced diet combined with regular excercise! A levelling out of blood sugar levels should help with the cravings for sweet/fattening foods....so don't leave too long between eating
And you will re-educate your palate a little and hopefully find other, better foods to crave.(At the moment, I am pigging out on cherries. It's a blooming good job I'm on my own in the office, IYKWIM!)
Also, the 10/10 fruit and veg thread in Health on here is a great place for support in healthier eating (though at the minute we all all giddy as our leader has had a baby )

Pop over and say Hi some time (none of us are angels, and we all have days where we eat crap but as you said the other day, coming on here to account for what you have eaten in a day does sometimes make you think twice about that bag of crisps....)

Itati - how are you feeling today?

I have had a letter from the solicitor today which means more info needed, an expensive appointment, and another day of trying to find things in my diary, look through letters and piles of photocopying.

I have so much other things to do too. I did some shopping while DS2 was at playschool and then hoovered the downstairs and put all the toys upstairs. There is duplo and cards all over the stairs from when the kids were stropping this morning and they will clear them up once home.

I have wet washing to hang up, DS1, our and DD's clothes to put away, dough to put in the breadmaker to make pizza for the kids teas, lunch to be had for me, it goes on and on.

I have seen the 10/10 fruit and veg thread and wanted to join in but didn't understand it as it was pages of threads.

Wow ladies - I've missed lots. I need to sit down later this evening and read all the threads, but just wanted to say Hi for now.

Iati/cluttered up, you are both doing so well. I still haven't been for a run, but I will soon.

It seems crazy to see this as a positive thing but I have goven up trying to lose weight. I am obsessed with food and the more I denied myself the more I wanted it and ate crap. I want to start swimming again and I have already told the kids we will be walking to school daily come September.

I totally agree that it is positive - not crazy at all, if all you are currently doing is beating yourself up. You need to set achieveable goals and if that isn't one at the moment, let it go.

it will be easier to lose weight in the future if you can establish some healthy eating patterns first. And/or get some excersise...

BNut aside from that, just pick one thing that a time to focus on abnd don't give a second thought to anything ele until you're ready.

I comfort eat big time.

I didn't have a lot else to make me happy some times so knowing I had some crisps, chocolate, etc always cheered me up.

Have been telling myself that food is fuel and I do not need to eat to make me happy, just eat when hungry.

Not going to sink in over night though.

Hi itati, hope you are feeling a bit better today. Just remember FMV saying a little at a time and try to find a bit of positive even if it is in the small things. Just finding something to remind yourself that you are special is sometimes hard to start off with but even something small is a good start and you can build up more confidence to praise yourself for other things. I bet you are a good mum even if you don't always feel that way. Think of something you did that madeone of your DC smile - that's something to be proud of.
My healthy eating went to pot this weekend as we had a weddding and although I didn't gorge myself on food i made myself quite ill by drinking too much I don't normally drink a lot and it went on into the small hours. But that was my treat, a night away without the DC and an evening spent with good friends, now I wish i hadn't spoilt the next morning by feeling ill but it made it easy not to have the cooked breakfast - couldn't really face it
Feeling a bit better just having some time out and me time, haven't started on the exercise yet but definitely easing off on the comfort eating, even went shopping and didn't have burning desires walking down the chocolate aisle .
thing is I know I have ups and downs so I don't want to be too complacent that I cracked the biscuit addiction so quickly, i know that as soon as i have a bad day I'll reach out for the biscuit tin again unless I have a long term plan.

Which is the exercise - still sitting and thinking about that one. Can't get out today as DS is off school sick (ish - he made a recovery a lunchtime).
Tomorrow I will walk somewhere in the morning - that is my goal for tomorrow.

I am determined to satart walking more once the kids go back to school. When DS1 started school, he walked DD was in the buggy and DS2 was in the sling. We walked both ways every day, morning and afternoon. It feels harder now but I have told the kids that is what we are going to do.

Hi Cluttered, I have sent you a calendar to write your goals on.

Thanks Bluestocking I received your calendar this morning. I hope i can stick to it, I did walk twice yeaterday - first time I parked the car a long way from where i was going rather than faffing around trying to find somewhere inconvenient to park and then we all walked to DS's school to pick him up.
I will use my calendar.
Hi itati. I've told my DC they will be walking/cycling to school next year too as DD1 starts school, so will all be at the same place which will make it all a bit easier. Think how good it will be for them too, its a good incentive that way.
I haven't slept properly in over a week now and its really taking its toll, this thread has really helped as I haven't resorted to the biscuit tin but i did have a 'bit of a turn' yesterday. DH had a row because while I was in bed because i was so knackered he shut DD2 out in the garden while he was coooking tea- I said it wasn't a good idea and he said I left her on her own all the time which is so untrue- anyway it turned into a huge row because I'm so tired and he's stressed with work- which ended up with me sobbing, pulling at my hair and scratching my arms. I haven't been like this since i had PND with DS1 but it all came back. I'm just so tired at the moment, DD2 just is up all night and moans and whinges at me all day, i am so on the edge sometimes.
I have had to put her in her room this morning because i was going to scream at her to shut up, or worse. She won't eat properly at the moment which is why she is so hungry and whingy and isn't sleeping. I've tried offering her all sorts of things but she just throws herself on the floor in a tantrum. All she wants in milk out of a bottle - she's 18 mo and I'm trying to wean her off them and its a total nightmare. She will eat a big bowl of spaghetti bolognaise for tea but little else during the day - I am at my wits end.

Stiil trying though - am going to walk to school to pick up DS, there will be a fuss all the way home I know but ther we are - I'm sure it will be worth it. Had better get ready to leave now , it takes 40 mins!!

Walked back from school with DS who shouted and argued all the way home - but I did it- now if I could work on my parenting skills a bit better............
Can't walk to school tomorrow as ILs have announced they will be arriving 10 mins before end of school - probably won't have time to do much as will be tidying up for their arrival.
How are you doing itati? Any better today?

morning lovely people. How are you doing? Good work on the walking front cluttered.

Have you got a goal for today? Have you got a positive thought to focus on?
Loads of lovely fruit available at the moment, let's all go and buy some to gorge on...

I'm off out to the river at lunchtime for a bbq and a swim. tomorrow, off out for a family 'do'. Will pop in on sunday and see how you are faring.

Thanks FMV. I've still not done any running, but I will get there one day.